Christmas Photos: Part 2

I found this little poem somewhere awhile back and I thought it just suited the time we spend with my family over the holidays.

Christmas Time

Christmas time for boys and girls

Is a happy day,

For we go to grandmamma's

And eat and sing and play.

Grandma does not say to us—

"Stop that horrid noise,"

'Cause she understands we can't,

When we're "only boys."

And she lets the girls play house,

In the garret old,

And when they strew things around,

Grandma doesn't scold.

But we ought to pick them up,

Even on Christmas day,

For we shouldn't make kind friends

Trouble with our play.

Yes, we love the Christmas time

Best of all the year,

We have waited for it long,

Now, at last, it's here.

-- M.N.B.

Well, maybe except for the picking up part. These little ones aren't so good at that yet. :)

We headed east to my parents' house after I recovered from the stomach bug everyone else caught on Christmas Day (but, luckily, before Phoebe got it). It was a nice, laid-back weekend. With all those little ones, we didn't head out and "do" much. We just enjoyed each other and took it easy. 

It was fun.

This photo just makes me laugh. Isaac is a nut. He got this football helmet from my parents and I don't think he took it off much the entire weekend.

The whole motley crew. I didn't take one single photo of the adults this trip. Oh well. The kiddos are cuter anyway.

Doesn't it look like they are planning something fun?!

My mom made matching smocked dresses for the girls so we just *had* to have a photo shoot! As you can imagine with two wiggly girls, I didn't get too many great ones. You get the idea, though.

This was as much as a good idea as it looks. After these photos were taken, the boys headed outside to roll down the sidewalk until it ends in a empty lot. My parents house is at the top of a hill. Eli lost both boys at one time or another. Sheesh.

Also, you see that sweater Eli is wearing? It was my brother, Ben's, and he gave it to Eli because he doesn't wear it anymore. Eli loved it so much because his idol had given it to him and because it was "cool" that he wore it the entire weekend. He did let me put it in his closet when we got home so he could grow into it. But he still wears it often around the house. :)

And these are just some darn cute little girls. 

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

-- Bobby, age 7

Christmas Photos: Part 1

Y'all remember my LAST POST? Still trying to find my voice out here on the prairie. 

It'll come...

I hope. In the meantime, I'm posting my Christmas photos in two parts. This is Part 1. We spent the first part of our break with Brad's family in New Mexico.

This was Sunday before Christmas and we were all heading off to church in our Christmas finest. 

Grandma with some of her grandkids. My two and Tanner, Brayden, and Brooklyn.

Phoebe and Brooklyn were as thick as thieves this Christmas. It was so much fun!

Tanner, Eli, and Brayden

This is the only family photo we took this Christmas. My sister is so good about taking family photos and I have got to get better! (Even if I hate to see myself in photos!)

Brad and his mom. Sorry it's blurry. 

On Christmas Eve Day (oh, you know that's what it's called!), most of us went bowling. It's a sort of McCall Family Tradition. Lots of fun, but it's probably good I'm not a very competitive bowler.

Eli, Tanner, and Caleb

This year Phoebe decided she needed some tips from her Dad.

I think it worked out well for them both. :)

Sorry about the lighting...it's always wonky in the bowling alley. But it's a fun shot of our other little bowler.

Conner, Caleb, Tanner, and Eli

"The Girls" Phoebe, Kailee, Morgan, and Brooklyn

Brayden and Conner

Paige and Brent

Morgan, Kirsten, and Caleb

That night before we put everyone to bed, the two little girls decided it was time to ham it up. Things were starting to go downhill at this point since Kailey and Brent were already coming down with The Christmas Bug.

Seriously. These girls are a hoot!

Paige and I told them to act like they were going to eat Santa's cookies. Here's what we got.

Sheesh.

Then one of the cookies broke. How I wish I had gotten their expressions (and Brooklyn's quick bite) on camera! I didn't, but we were rolling!

Christmas morning was when everyone got sick. I only took 2 photos on Christmas Day due to the very un-festiveness of the day. Half the crowd was sick. This is all the kids that were staying at the grandparents' house before running down to see Santa's loot.

This was the stocking cap in Eli's stocking. I have had more fun with this gift...so has Eli!

We got outta Dodge pretty quick the day after Christmas since Brad was feeling better. It didn't stop the rest of us from getting sick, but at least it got us home before I was sick. 

I promise to post the rest of my Christmas photos before the end of January! 

Where I've Been

You're probably wondering where I've been the last month.

Well, I'm not real sure, to be honest. 

Christmas came at me so fast and so furious it seemed I was sitting on the front of a runaway train speeding down the tracks toward Christmas faster than I could breath or get myself together. I was room mom for both kids classes and that week before holiday break I was in party mode. I had something planned for each and every second of each and every day. It was crazy.Then we left the next Saturday for Brad's parents house for Christmas. That's where most of his family got a nasty tummy bug on Christmas Day. His mom and I were the only adults not sick and about half the kids were down. It was pretty un-festive. We left the day after Christmas to head home for a few days before driving to Dallas to spend Christmas with my family. That's when I got sick. We spent the weekend with my family celebrating and headed back Monday. That's when Phoebe got sick. She seemed to have a lighter case (thank heavens) and we were still able to head back to New Mexico so Brad and Eli could go skiing in Taos. Phoebe had planned on skiing, but then wimped out when she got super cold and the runs were harder than last year's at Angel Fire over Spring Break. We came home Sunday and the kids started back to school on Monday. 

And I fell apart. 

I always get a little depressed after Christmas. You plan and bake and party and shop and wrap and clean your way through the season, and then it's over. And you're left with a sad "back-to-normal" mentality and decorations to put up. 

This year seemed especially hard. I couldn't pull myself out of the fog of melancholy I woke up in every morning. I didn't want to do laundry or go to the grocery store. I didn't want to unpack or clean. house. I didn't want to do all the little things it takes to get children up and away to school and then ready to do it all again when they get home. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and ignore the world for a time. All my daily responsibilities, all the things I'd failed to do this Christmas (our annual Christmas cookie decorating, our caroling party, the tardiness of my Christmas cards), all my Christmas decorations still staring me in the face even though it was well into the new year felt like a thousand little weights. Weights that by themselves weren't all that heavy, but all piled up together felt like a cloak lined with lead I wore all the time. I couldn't shake it off. Everyday I woke up with high hopes. I'd get the kids off to school and get a shower and things would go downhill from there. By the end of each evening, I was a mess. Overwhelmed by life, guilty because I felt like I was letting everyone down, and hurt that I couldn't change it. 

Things are better now. The "drowning" feeling steals creeps up on me every once in a while and I feel so sad I want to go away and hide. I got a (much overdo) B-12 shot last week so my fatigue isn't quite as debilitating. I still want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for a good long while, but I can fight that urge...mostly. 

During all this, I kept wondering about my little blog. I wondered if I'd ever want to blog again. I wondered if I'd ever find my words again. I wondered if anyone cared that I wasn't posting. I wondered what would happen if I just never posted again. But I wasn't ready for that. I'm not ready to let this little space die. It's the place where I write about my family. It's the place I write about my journey as a wife and mom and person. I hope to continue to do so. I hope that I want to even if no one else is still reading except my husband. I hope that I can be more open and transparent in the next year with what I'm feeling and thinking. And I hope that you'll keep wanting to read. Because I'm vain like that, I guess.  Plus, I still have Christmas photos I need to edit and post.

So I guess that's where I've been. Both literally and figuratively. It wasn't a great trip, but I feel certain that by posting this I'll realize that so many others have been in the same hard place thinking the same hard things.  I think that's the real key in this life-journey...just knowing that you're not alone or crazy or  as invisible as you think you are.