How I Spent My Spring Break Vacation, Part II

On Thursday, it had finally dried out enough to go to the Dallas Zoo. It was a great idea...apparently shared by everyone else in the metroplex, as well. :) The Dallas Zoo is smaller than the Ft. Worth Zoo, and so it takes about half the time to see all the animals. We took our lunch and enjoyed the nice weather, the animals, and just being outside. Phoebe was unimpressed with all the animals. She cried every time she saw one...especially the really big goldfish that would swim up close to the "see-through" tank. In her defense, some of the goldfish were bigger than she was. Her day ended on a high note, though...the carousel was awesome! Instead of horses, it had different zoo animals. I love carousels. There is just something about the beauty in the animals and the nostalgia and the music that is mesmerizing. I could watch them for hours. Phoebe apparently felt the same. She squealed with delight through the entire ride! Everybody had a great time...even Carrie who was still doped up on painkillers from having her wisdom teeth removed. She's such a trooper!

More to come later on "How I Spent My Spring Break Vacation, Part III"...

How I Spent My Spring Break Vacation, Part I

I really did mean to get this posted earlier in the week, but we had a pretty bad "Gleevec" week around here and I kept telling myself that I needed to unpack, pick-up, do dishes, etc. before I blogged. Well, I've given up. I'm not unpacked, my house is a wreck, and there is laundry everywhere. Sigh. I love to go out of town, but I don't particularly enjoy the first week home.

We had a GREAT week! My dad flew down the Friday night before Spring Break and we drove to Abilene where his first every "Cousins Reunion" was being held at one of his cousins houses there in Abilene. It was at dinner with my dad when Eli finally admitted why his room was starting to smell like a kennel. I was convinced it was his pull-ups that were leaking and so I was changing sheets and spraying the mattress wtih Febreze...all to no avail. I kept asking him why his room smelled like pee, but he would always just shrug his shoulders. At dinner he finally told us it was because he was peeing in his room...on the floor! He told me it was too far from his room to the bathroom and he had to go around the corner to make it to our bathroom. I was mortified!! I told him if he continued to pee on the floor, he was going to sleep in the bathtub. I would like to go on record to say that boys are disgusting. Absolutely animalistic. That's why I had to rent a Rug Doctor on Monday when I got home. By the way, it didn't work. I googled "how to get urine out of the carpet" and was told about "Nature's Miracle." It's technically for dog urine, but for some strange reason, there is nothing for human pee...maybe because humans don't pee on the carpet repeatedly. I tried it...it's not very miraculous. I'm going to try vinegar and baking soda next. It that doesn't work, we will be replacing the carpet. Boys are gross. I'll talk a girl out of a catfight any day over teaching a boy not to pee in his room. Even after that terrible start to my Spring Break, we had a good time at the reunion. My Grandfather was one of seven children and is now the only one still living. I forget how many cousins my dad had, but it was a bunch so it was fun to reconnect with some of them. My dad's brother (who also lives in Abilene) brought his children and Eli just adores the "big boys and Bethany" who are my cousins. We drove on into Dallas that afternoon...Phoebe only screamed for two hours so it wasn't too bad. :) My sister had her wisdom teeth removed Saturday so we spent most of Sunday just kind of bumming around. Well, my mom and I did sneak down to Fair Park for Buchanan's Vintage Market. Lots of junk...so much fun. Monday and Tuesday were spent just kind of hanging out. It rained some on Monday and A LOT (think building an ark because of the flooding) on Tuesday so we mostly entertained the kids inside. Thank goodness for Nena's toys and DVD's! It finally cleared up on Wednesday and we headed up north to meet Ben and Sarah for lunch and to see my brother's office. He works for a graphic design firm and it's very cool and young and artsy. When we walked in, there was a guy riding a scooter to his desk. There's a basketball court next to the accounting department. Ben fits in so well there! My friend, Steph, came in on Wednesday afternoon. We did some fun stuff the rest of the week, but I'll have to end this post now because otherwise it would be way too long.

I'm sure you'll all be waiting with bated breath to get the next installment of "How I Spent My Spring Break Vacation, Part II." We'll just see how the rest of my weekend goes.

My Little House On The Prairie

Last Friday, they started moving dirt on the house we are building. It is very exciting! (And nerve-racking, and worrisome, and hopeful, and fun...you get the idea.) Brad went yesterday morning to tell the guy where to put the driveway and took some pictures for me. We looked at them last night and I was struck by how BIG and OPEN it looks. Not a tree or shrub in sight. It really is going to be a house on the prairie.

I'm not really sure what we are looking at here, except that it is where the driveway will go. I know this because of the big ditch running alongside the right of picture. Brad calls it an arroyo, but I think it's really a ditch. Whichever it is, there will be a culvert over it and then a driveway.


This is a picture from the back of our lot. Brad was standing at the very top of our property looking down at where the backyard and then the house will be. If you look waaaaay off in the distance, you can see the Amarillo skyline.


Again, I have no idea where this is, but I thought the sky was really pretty. Kinda wants to make you sing a verse of "Home On The Range."


I think this is another picture from the back our lot. I just thought the lovely lines in the dirt were very calming...like those tiny sand gardens with the tiny rakes you see in doctors' offices. Maybe the dirt guys do that so the wives won't freak out about actually building the house they've been dreaming about for five years. Very thoughtful of them.

We're Home!

The kids and I spent a great Spring Break at my parents house this last week (hence the no posting) and we finally got home last night about 10:00pm. I am trying to wade through all of the unpacking chaos...not much progress has been made. I had to rent a Rug Doctor this morning to clean up a very awful mess that was made in Eli's room (details in another post) , so I spent my afternoon cleaning his carpets and there was no time for unpacking, just moving stuff around, so my house literally looks like we've been robbed. I'd post pictures, but I can't find my camera right this moment. Just know that we had a great week and we are home.

Phoebe's New Trick

I call it a trick because I'm not sure Phoebe has actually discovered what she can do. Every time she takes off on her little walker, she laughs like, "Whoa...it's happening again!" Brad and I have a bet going as to when she will take her first steps. Brad thinks it will be in the next two weeks (starting yesterday) and I think it will be after that. I'll let you know who wins. :)

I think it helps when she sticks her tongue out.


She also tends to walk like a lumberjack...you know, with her feet wide apart.


Ohhhh!


Watch out, world!

The Happiest Place On Earth

I really love Target. On another blog, I read the author refer to Super Target (not Disneyworld) as the Happiest Place On Earth. I would tend to agree...especially since Target brings me more joy on a week-to-week basis than anything Disney. Amarillo doesn't have a Super Target, but a regular Target is pretty fun, as well. Do you know where my favorite area of this store is? It's the "bookmarked" section in the book/magazine part of the store. In ours, it's kind of wedged between the cookbooks and Oprah books...you might even miss it unless you are looking for more books to read (which I usually am). The great thing about it, is that it is full of really good books. You know, the ones that are well-written, thought-provoking, deep...and usually fiction. I could spend quite a bit of time there just reading all the book jackets and deciding which book to read next. Unfortunately, the books are still $12 so I don't usually purchase them, but it does give me a chance to dream. Take Monday night, for example, I finished reading my last book on Sunday and I am in need of another. There were so many good titles to choose from...I was overwhelmed and walked away empty-handed. Sigh. I need some advice on the next book to read. Let me know what you have read lately and why you liked it. I'll even give you the "low-down" on the three books I have read since Christmas.

1). Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. This was a great book that took me forever to read. The language is rich and the book explores all the humanness of love. All in all it was kind of heartbreaking and sad, but really good at the same time. Personally, I think it was kind of hard to read because it was originally written in Spanish and then translated to English and I find that when that happens the syntax is just different enough that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. (Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I spend a lot of brain energy trying to converse with a 4 year old!) The book was beautiful, though, and I'd recommend it if you've got a lot of time to read or are smarter than I am. :)

2). The Higher Power Of Lucky by Susan Patron. This is a Newbery Award winner which means it's a children's book. (Maybe 2006?) However, I love to read Newbery books. They are excellent literature...and they're short. It takes a day or so to read them, but they are a good read. This one was pretty good and I enjoyed it.

3). Plain Truth by Jodi Piccoult. This is my first book by this author and it was GREAT! I had heard of this author from a few people and how good she was, but I hadn't read any of her books. Then Carrie gave me this book at Christmas and I loved it. I plan on reading more from this author, but don't have any at the moment. They sell quite a few from this author at the "bookmarked" section, but again, I get so overwhelmed with all the choices!

Those were my books. Now I need another...or three. I like to look at the stack of books on my nightstand and anticipate all the books I'm going to read. Right now, that stack consists only of my Bible and some things I need to file...not very exciting. I'd like to read the book The Shack by William Young (I think). Maybe my friend, Heather, will let me borrow it (I promise not keep it for 9 months...and to actually finish it). I'm excited about this book because I've heard alot about it from people I like and admire...some good, some bad. Interesting all the same. I still want to know what everyone else is reading, though. Like I said, I like a BIG stack of books beside my bed!

Another Reason Why Being A Mom Is Hard

As if there were not enough already! Brad and I have been thinking alot lately about when to send Eli to school. His birthday is June 10th (by the way, that is also our anniversary...just in case anyone cared it was still our anniversary) and since he was born, we've been asked (and asked ourselves) whether or not we would hold him back a year from kindergarten. It's a valid question. At first we decided not to make any decisions and just see who Eli turned out to be and what our situation was at the time. Since then, we've decided to hold him back a year. There has been a lot of prayer and advice-seeking and we feel pretty good about our decision. The reasons for holding him back are many. He's somewhat immature...especially compared to boys born in September or November. I don't want him to be the one rolling around on the floor with a pencil stuck in his nose during calendar time. He's not so great at the academic stuff. I'm holding judgement on whether it's because he's not interested or if he's just "average" developmentally. If he starts reading tomorrow, we might reconsider. He's on the slight side of weight and height. I want him to have the advantage in sports because he is so talented in the way he moves and controls his body. I don't want him to be the only boy going on to school when so many boys who have summer birthdays are held back nowadays. I want him to enjoy school, I want him to excel. Which brings me to my dilemma. Why do I want him to excel? The easy answer is because he's my child. I love him more than I could ever imagine...in a way only parents can love their children. I want him to feel good about himself. I want him to be really good at something. I don't want him to fail or hurt even though I know it is inevitable. I want him to have the "leg up." All of those seem to be very valid reasons. No one would doubt or even question them...which leads me to doubt and question them. I have come to the realization that if something comes natural to me as a human, as a woman, then more than likely it is opposite of who God is calling me to be as a disciple. He calls us to serve. He calls us to love. He calls us to be humble. He calls us to set apart. He calls us to put ourselves last...even when it comes to our children! I am having a very hard time reconciling these two parts of myself. If He calls us to be all these things, then fighting so hard to make my child "the best" cannot be a part of it. Of course I want Eli to be the very best Eli he can be, but is that really what I want...or do I just want him to be the best? Do I want him to "act" in a way that is Christian (therefore showing the world what great parents we are and what a great child we have) or do I want him to "be" Christ-like in all that he is and does, but maybe not so successful in the world? Is giving him "the leg up" telling him that it's important to be really good at what you do or is it merely a mother wanting what's best for her family? Is wanting the very best for your child un-Christ-like because we are not called to have the best, but to give our best? I don't know the answers. Sometimes it is very clear to me that in our society we are expected to, as parents, to push and push and make sure our children are prepared for success, for leadership. These are the parents who are praised. These are the parents who have "done it right." Even Christians fall into this so easily because it's our kids. We can deny ourselves, but not our children. In those moments, I know that it is not what we are called to do. Then I look at Eli and Phoebe and I begin the justification of why I am pushing them so hard, why I want for them something that I am trying so hard not be in my own life. Being a mom is freakishly hard, and for the life of me I cannot figure out why we all want it so badly! We will still hold Eli back a year, but not without covering him (and us) in prayer. Most of the time I feel confident that this is where God is leading us...but I haven't stopped questioning my motives. I'll still pray about it often and hope that God will give me peace and reassurance (and maybe some answers) as it's needed.

A Sureal Anniversary

Brad here.

Well, today has been a surreal day for the McCalls. March 7th marks the one year anniversary of when Jordan was diagnosed with caner (technically it was the third time but first time in 8 years). In fact, just like a year ago, my parents are here in Amarillo visiting. Last year it was to see our brand new precious little Phoebe. Last night we joked about these ironies and made Jordan vow to sleep the entire night without any "fireworks" like we experienced last year. Tonight about 5:30 p.m. Jordan looked at me and said, "last year this time I was in the ICU at Dallas Presby." We embraced and said nothing. We both knew what each was and had been thinking all day. See, last March 7th would rank on my list of one the worst days of my life. In fact, the only other day that would compete would be November 13, 1999....the other day in my life when I had to rush Jordan to an ER and was told that she had a bleeding tumor in her abdomen. Honestly, last year was worse. Worse for many reasons. Phoebe had just arrived 6 days earlier after a lengthy struggle to conceive that tested our faith and we were so happy; We were enjoying the euphoria that follows being parents. I had just interviewed for a new job the night we brought Phoebe home from the hospital...a job I now work at but yet at the time was materializing after years of work and prayer; However, the biggest reason is that this was the first time for me that my WIFE (as opposed to fiance) was diagnosed with cancer and most importantly this was the first time that I had to experience the feeling of knowing that you hadn't "beaten" the cancer after all. See, in 1999 I was a newbie because I wasn't in Jordan's life in 1989 when she was first diagnosed with cancer. Yes, I knew she had had cancer before, but knowing and experiencing are two different things. Thus, in 1999 I didn't have to struggle with having my hopes that Jordan's cancer was cured dashed. Now, I know what her family must have felt then. It is this hope in remission or a cure that Jordan and I had clung to for 8 years as we began our lives together and experienced all our firsts (house, children, careers, etc.). Many hours and tears during those years had been spent asking openly and silently the "what if" questions of what would happen or be Jordan's prognosis if the cancer came back.

So, as I recall March 7, 2007, and the sinking scared feeling I felt in the early morning hours when Dr. Smith told Jordan and me that she a had a tumor the size of a softball on her liver that was bleeding and many others in various other parts of her liver and lung, I cannot help but recall the fear I was experiencing. It was as though all of my worse "what if" questions were coming true....and true much sooner than I had ever expected. Moreover, this diagnosis proved Jordan to be prophetic and me simply to be a bumbling husband who didn't want to face the facts. Yet, I don't know if I would do it any differently now because as a spouse of someone who has or had cancer, you cannot waiver in your faith and hope that your partner in life will be healed. To do otherwise would be weak and unsupportive.

Anyhow, honestly I didn't sit down at the computer tonight to get all deep but rather to simply mark time with a post. Many of you have been reading along with our story for almost a year now (we started this blog a year from tomorrow) while others possibly have just recently started lurking. Thus, for some I am sure they will find this anniversary date to be a victory statement showing that God answers prayers, he is faithful, and loves and gives abundant life to his disciples. There is no greater evidence of this than reading the first month of this blog and reading our entries a year later to see the stark contrasts in the events our lives. Yes, Jordan is still living with cancer and on chemo, but we are living! In fact, we closed on a loan this afternoon to build our dream home... a home that we have been preparing for for over 5 years. If that doesn't make you want to live for the future, I don't know what else would (okay, I am sure many other things are but right now I am excited).

So, to close this post I say THANK YOU to each of you who have shared our journey this past year and who continue to read our story and pray for us. Knowing that we are not alone but in the thoughts of many over this year has given us many an hour of entertainment and many happy thoughts.

Happy Birthday Jordan!!

Now, before you think this is Jordan writing a glowing blog about herself, let me clarify. The crafty women in her family have been sneaky and are taking over her blog for the day. This is her favorite sister-in-law Sarah (I can say that because I am the one writing this blog!) providing you all with a list of a few of the MANY things we (Carrie, Beverly, and I) love about Jordan, in honor of her birthday.
1. She is crafty - not devious crafty, creative crafty! That girl can create some amazing stuff that would give Martha Stewart a run for her money.
2. She is an excellent cook! No matter how busy or tired she is, when the family is together, she finds the energy to feed us all delicious meals.
3. She is an amazing mother. Amazing. I can't even begin to talk about all the things she does for her family, but Carrie and I both feel like we could learn so much from her.
4. She is trendy (even with snot on her clothes)!
5. She is the keeper of all family traditions. Trust me on this. I have only been in the family for a few years, but I already know that Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without Jordan!
6. She is caring - no matter what is going on in her own life, she worries about others and finds ways to be uplifting and thoughtful. (I think it's the big sister in her coming out.)
7. She is so strong - just read a few posts from this last year to see all that she has juggled. She might have 'down' days, but just picks herself up and keeps going.
8. She is the planner/decision-maker - without her we would all just sit around being indecisive. We tease her about it, but secretly love it!
9. She makes everyone feel welcome - she's an incredible hostess, and carries that with her everywhere, making people feel comfortable around her.
10. She is an awesome Christian - this one is last, but definitely not least. Her faith is incredible, and she is so open and honest, that whether she means to be or not, she is an inspiration for others.

We love you so much Jordan, and are so blessed to be part of your family!

The Big 3-0

"Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Please be really nice to me,
Because today I'm thir-ty!"

I made that little ditty up myself. It's true, folks, today is my thirtieth birthday. I'm okay with it considering most people probably think I'm alot older! So far, it's been a pretty good birthday. Some friends took me to dinner last night at Basil Doc's (a pizzeria that is one of Amarillo's redeeming culinary experiences) where we visited for about four hours! They also gave me Miss Piggy's cookies (another redeeming culinary experience) with big, hot pink 30's on top. When Eli heard it was my birthday today, he went into a flurry of activity making me a birthday card. Phoebe decided she needed help and I could have watched them forever "working" together.





This is the picture Eli drew for my birthday. The caption says, "It's a stylish girl with no hands. You can't see her hands because they are magic." It's a pretty good card.

Why I'm Late For KU

There is nothing like getting dressed in the morning in your new, trendy but comfortable, really cute outfit and looking down to find snot smeared on your shoulder. It's not as chic as you might think. As the lady who does my hair says, "You're never fully dressed without some spit-up." Amen, sister.

Ahhh, Spring!

I am sooo ready for some warm weather. I grew up in the Dallas area, where Spring comes pretty early...after a very mild winter. Now, I live in the Panhandle and boy, is it different! Spring tends to come in (windy) spurts after a very cold, sad winter. (I absolutely hate to be cold!) We enjoyed a beautiful weekend here in Amarillo. We even went to the park on Friday and cleaned out the outside freezer on Saturday...yeah, I know, you're jealous of our fast-paced, exciting life.

The kids loved being outside...especially Phoebe. Eli actually goes outside pretty often...even when it's cold (I think outerwear was invented by a mom with small boys), but Phoebe doesn't really get to very often. She LOVED the swing!


That's a full swing!


Even Dad came to join us.


This is what we woke up to this morning. Sigh.


Gotta love Spring! Luckily, we don't have to go anywhere this morning. Phoebe has her rescheduled echocardiogram this afternoon, and maybe (I hope) it will burn off a little before then.

Happy Birthday, Phoebe!

So, I'm just now finally getting some pictures on the blog from Phoebe's birthday. People kept asking me what were going to do, and really it was nothing special. I did bake her a cake, but we didn't really open any presents (why wrap them when all she wants to play with is the paper?), she doesn't have a "special" meal I can make for her, going out to dinner seemed silly when it would wear us out and leave us wondering, "What were we thinking?!", and we are doing her party later over Spring Break with my family. I usually don't get too sentimental over my children's birthdays. Time marches on...it's a fact. It tend to cry more when I look at old pictures or put away old clothes. I did cry at Eli's third birthday because I was losing my baby, but birthdays are usually tear-free around here. Here are some pictures of the BIG DAY:

Yummy waffles for breakfast. I love Phoebe's expression in this picture. She was watching Eli be silly and I just think it's so very, very sweet.


"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!"


Sweet baby girl.


Happy Birthday to Phoebe. That's my arm in way, trying to keep her from grabbing the candle. The candle is lopsided because she kept taking it out.


"I'm not quite sure what to do with this..."


"Hey, this is pretty good."




"It's especially fun to play in!"


"See, I've smeared it all over my arms and face...what a birthday!"


"Do they really expect me to eat all this?"


"I NEED SOME HELP HERE!"


"I have an idea..."


"...I'll feed some to my bubba."


"Phoebe, let me show you how it's done."


Both children went straight to the tub after this. I'd show a few of those pictures, but they are not really appropriate. Eli may not care now, but he probably would eventually! :) I cannot tell you what a mess my bathtub was after this little fiasco. Cake does not just dissolve. It breaks into a thousand tiny, soggy crumbs that have to be wiped up individually. It was worth it for the photo ops...especially since Brad cleaned the tub!