Wild West

Sometimes I feel like I live in the wild, wild west. You know, where people wear cowboy hats and boots and eat bbq and wrangle cattle. Coming from the Big D, Amarillo has been quite the culture shock. There are no La Madeline's, no Urban Outfitters, no good flea markets, no Cheesecake Factories, no Corner Bakeries, no Marshalls, not even a Super Target! The town sometimes smells like cows, the (free) zoo has mostly farm animals, and I have literally seen ten horses "parked" at the Burger King not ten blocks from my house. I have come to love some of the strange things about my little town. I love the fact that I am three minutes from church. I love the fact that all of my friends and all Eli's friends live within 15 minutes of my house. I love the fact that I can find the best darn chicken fried steak right here. However, I do not love grass fires. Yes, my children and I escaped from a raging prairie fire on Monday. I went to see Brad's new office that is in one of the hospitals where he works. While he was showing me around, the lights flickered and the generator kicked in. Then a man came rushing by Brad and said, "There's a h--- of a grass fire across the street!" We walked outside and in fact, there was a big grass fire in the lot across the street. Monday was an incredibly windy day and it was a valid concern that the sparks might jump the street and catch the hospital on fire. I wish I had taken a picture, but in all the excitement, I forgot. Brad ushered me and the children to the car where we got all buckled in in case we had to make an emergency run for it and then we waited. I couldn't leave because the only street to leave the hospital was the one in front of the building...you know, the one where the fire was raging. Brad, of course, was on the other side of building directing people to turn the sprinklers on and just generally being in charge. The fire department arrived pretty quickly and it was under control in a matter of minutes (although I learned later that it took an hour and a half to put it completely out). I was able to leave and Brad even left about 15 minutes later and met me for lunch. I had brief visions of dunking my petticoat in water and beating out the fire...isn't that was those pioneer women did? It just made me think again that I was living in the Wild, Wild West.

Because of all that excitement, I didn't take a picture of Phoebe on Monday and she turned 11 months old. She's almost a year!! She also pulled up for the very first time on Monday. It was in the bathtub, and she stood there for a few minutes and then fell over...under the water. That kind of freaked her out and made her cry and she really hasn't pulled up since. Well, once in her bed, but those are the only two times. Sometimes I can trick myself into thinking she is younger than she is because she is so lazy. She's done things later than some babies because, you know, it's a lot of work. Maybe I can convince myself and that at the end of next month she is not actually turning one year old. I did take a picture on Sunday because I loved the smocked bubble she was wearing and she's about to outgrow it. Notice her pretty pink patent leather mary janes...she's about to outgrow those, as well. I had to jam her little feet into them, but they sure did look darn cute!

Tall Tale

We were driving around today and Phoebe was fussing a bit. Since she doesn't tend to do that, I asked Eli what was wrong with her. I expected him to say her bow was over her eyes, she'd dropped her bottle, etc. He said, "A giant, scary squirrel jumped on her window and scared her and it made her cry." Ummm, thanks, Eli. I guess he felt like our life was a little too mundane.

Backpacking Boys

We had beautiful weather yesterday...65 degrees, sunny, and NO WIND. (For those of you who live in West Texas, you know how rare a warm, non-windy day can be.) Brad decided to take Eli to Palo Duro Canyon for a day hike. He's talked of doing this often, but it just never seemed like a good time. Yesterday, we had no plans and the weather was great...so off they headed. You know, after I had packed them snacks, lunch, band-aids, water, the camera, toilet paper (just in case), an extra jacket for Eli, and his hat. One always has to be prepared. Brad said they might hike about a mile and would be back early afternoon. Well, they hiked six and a half miles! It was almost dark when they finally got home, but Eli had a blast. What did Phoebe and I do during all that time? What any self-respecting mom and daughter do together...we ran errands. It was so nice to have just Phoebe. She is the easiest baby in the whole world and I just drug her all around Amarillo. However, I did find some really great deals. I bought her a pink, corduroy dress for next fall for $3.40 at Kohl's. I found two plain white T-shirts for Phoebe for $1.74 each, two pairs of corduroy pants for next fall for Eli for $3.99 each, and four pairs of socks for Eli at $.87 each at Old Navy. Then I found some pajamas for Phoebe for $3 at Target for next winter. I just felt like I need to share that with you because I was so proud of myself!

A Rose By Any Other Name

Yesterday at McDonald's, Eli was accidentally given a "girl" toy in his Happy Meal (it was a little brown, stuffed dog). After trading it for the "boy" toy and then trading it back to the "girl" toy because he decided he wanted it more, (I'm pretty sure the McDonald's employees thought I was crazy) we spent our lunch trying to name the dog. I asked him weather his new dog was a boy or a girl, and he told me it was a boy so I started thinking of all the boy dog names I could think of: Buster, Spot, Fido, etc. He finally said, "I know, his name is Rosemary." No joke. Rosemary spent all of yesterday and today at Eli's side...along with Ruff, of course. Ruff even took Rosemary to "dog school" today which was held in the car while we were at KU. Even after school, Ruff, Rosemary, and Eli took a nap together. Do you think the boy spends too much time in the kitchen with his mommy?

My Travel Companions

I had a great weekend with "my girls." You know, that group of friends that you are completely real and honest with? The ones who have known you a really long time...and still enjoy spending time with you? The ones you are free to be as nerdy and uncool and silly with? We all met our freshman year at ACU and we've been friends for 12 years. Thanks Jenny, for actually adding it up and making us all feel old! :) I called them "my travel companions" this weekend in jest, but as I thought about it, the term made more sense than just "my college friends" or "my girlfriends." In the last 12 years, we've been through a lot of "stuff." Of course, there is the typical college stuff: new boyfriends, break-ups, pledging, engagements, weddings, etc. But each of us has felt like we've been through our fair share of heartbreak in the last few years, too: divorce of parents, babies (not really a heartbreak, but children seem to bring their own kind of heartbreak), death of a spouse, death of an almost-mother-in-law, cancer, diabetes, illness of a father-in-law...it makes me tired to think about it. In some ways, it seems like Satan is attacking our little group. More likely, we are getting older and life just seems to happen to everybody. Through it all, though, I know that my girls are traveling with me. They are there laughing and crying and praying and worrying right along side me. We may go a few weeks or months without really talking, but when we do it's like nothing has ever changed. We may have gotten a little older, a little more battle scarred, a little more cynical, but we are still the same and our friendship can weather it all. We had a great weekend of shopping, and laughing, and crying, and eating. These are the friends I can be most honest with about my life and my children and my marriage and I come back feeling a sense of hope and renewal...even if they are secretly worrying I might be one the verge of crazy. I had hoped to post a picture of our college days and one of now, but I couldn't find one of all of us together (except my wedding pictures, and I couldn't figure out how to get them on the blog). So here are my traveling companions on my journey of life. They are all beautiful, strong, godly, precious women! I am so blessed to know them like I do.



Here are the highlights of my weekend:
* I got to eat at Petrezzio's (I still don't know how to spell it) and La Madeline...two of my favorite restaurants! Maria and I tried to eat at The Cheesecake Factory on Sunday before my plane left, but the wait was too long, so we ended up eating at The Corner Bakery. Oh, how I miss all those yummy places!

* I had two chocolate croissants from La Madeline...need I say more? (They were at different times, though, lest you think I am a pig.)

* We stayed in a nice B&B in Salado, TX. It had beds for everybody and it felt like we were at a really nice camp...could that be because we stayed up way too late talking and eating?


* We had a little shower for Rebekah, who is having her third baby girl. Baby girl showers are so much fun!! I made her a quilt (I like to toot my own horn.


*I got to come home to my wonderful husband and sweet children!

Little Scholars

Phoebe and her friend, Cade, are really very brilliant for their age. Of course, Cade actually looks like he might know what to do with a book...Phoebe doesn't find anything she can't eat very useful.

This and That

* MY CHRISTMAS IS UP!!! On Saturday,(while Phoebe and I went to a birthday party) Brad packed up all my Christmas and put it back in the attic. Isn't he great?! My house was cleaned today so as of right this minute (both children are asleep) my house is perfectly clean. Let's all savor this moment.

* I made THE VERY BEST pot roast I have ever made. Brad and I really like pot roast and I have tried for the last 7 1/2 years to find a recipe that is delectable. I've tried them in the crock pot, in a roaster, in a dutch oven...so many recipes, but I think I may have found the very best one. I'd give you the recipe (because it's way easy), but it's easier just to read it yourself from the same place I did. I found it on www.thepioneerwomancooks.com. It's called the Year Of The Pot Roast. (I do not know, yet, how to make a link, so you'll just have to do it the "old-fashioned" way and type it in yourself...trust me, it's worth the work!) The only change I would make is to add more carrots. One can never have enough carrots in a pot roast.

* I still have no Girl Scout cookies. Here in Amarillo, GS don't really take pre-orders. Each troop just buys as many cookies as they think they can sell and then camps outside of Wal-Mart or Walgreens or Wells Fargo and relies on their sweet little smiles to sell the cookies. I have seen no cookie-sellers, yet. I am in some desperate need of the chocolate peanut butter patties. When I was a Girl Scout (in Red Oak near Dallas) they were called Tagalongs. It's a much better name than the generic Chocolate Peanut Butter Patties or something like that as they are called now, but nobody asked me. I'm not sure if it is named by the bakeries that make the cookies or if it is a nationwide event. There are several bakeries across the nation responsible for baking the famous Girl Scout cookies, by the way. The Dallas area, for instance, has a different bakery than the Panhandle. Because of this, the Tagalongs in Dallas are better than the ones here. I'm not sure what the difference is except that the Dallas ones are flatter and the peanut butter goes all the way to the edges. Either way, I can eat an entire box in one afternoon...especially if they have been kept in the fridge. Yum.

* Phoebe and I went to a "tu-tu" party on Saturday. My friend Tiffani's daughter, Gracie, turned two just before Christmas and Tiffani decided to have the party after Christmas to give everybody a chance to slow down a bit. Such a great idea! So, Gracie's two-year, tu-tu party was on Saturday. Get it? Two? Tu-Tu? Anyway, it was so fun and girly. Here are a few pictures of some precious little girls and tu-tus...what could be better?

Some pretty mommies and their pretty girls!
Bailey and Callie


Sofee and Malee. Malee makes most of Phoebe's bows (and she made Sofee's tu-tu.) That girl can make anything pretty! She's very talented and if you need a tu-tu or a bow, she's your gal. I keep meaning to devote an entire blog to her abilities, but I haven't yet. Please ignore the strap from my camera. I'm really not very good at taking pictures.


Me and Phoebe


Gracie (the birthday girl) and Tiffani. Apparently Gracie was more focused on her cupcake then having her picture made. Who wouldn't be with such lovely cupcakes?


Phoebe had never seen bubbles before (I know, I'm a bad mom) and her reaction was wonderous! I have a bunch of pictures, but here are just a few.





* Over the holidays, Phoebe really fell in love with her Daddy. I think she finally got to know him bcause she spent so much time with him. Now, she only wants Daddy to hold her and cuddle with her. If he walks past her without picking her up, she fusses to let him know that it was not acceptable!


* Eli and Phoebe are starting to interact and play together. Such a beautiful sight! She is always crawling around looking for him. I think she thinks he is her personal entertainer.

Eli feeding Phoebe some ice cream


Playing the drums together. They were singing "Old McDonald Had A Farm." (The reason that Phoebe is all dressed and Eli is still wearing his pajamas is this: I had dressed Phoebe for the day and Brad was in charge of getting Eli dressed...the picture was taken about 3pm.)

Holland

I first read this article when I was in college. My amazing early childhood professor, Dana Hood, had us read it as we were studying about children with special needs. I have thought of it often because I think it describes not just having a child with special needs, but life in general. No one's life turns out exactly the way they had imagined or planned. Life is harder, and harsher, and disillusioned, and filled with broken dreams. We spend most of our time reconciling ourselves to the life we have and trying to open our eyes to the blessings that never would have been had we actually lived the life we had dreamed. I've often wished I had saved that article. Well, my mom emailed it to me yesterday! Email is a wonderful thing.


WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


This week has been particularly hard. I am bone-tired. I'm sure it has something to do with rebuilding my strength after a busy holiday, but it's very frustrating. My house is a mess, my laundry is everywhere, my Christmas is still up, my dishwasher if full of clean dishes while the sink is full of dirty ones, my children's days are slipping away so fast and I don't have the energy to play with them, my friendships are withering because I don't want to call anybody or see anyone...you get the picture. I'm just having a hard time focusing on the fact that I have arrived in Holland instead of going to Italy. The article was a good reminder to STOP DOING THAT!! So, I am drinking my second cup of coffee and I am willing myself to at least put all the laundry in laundry baskets. It may not actually do anything, but maybe it will make me feel better about myself. Oh, and there is also the fact that Girl Scout cookies are going on sale tomorrow! See, there are always things to look forward to.

Test Day!

Brad here.

Jordan is undergoing an MRI focused on her liver and a CT Scan with contrast this morning starting about 8:00 a.m. These are "scheduled" tests per our doctors orders to have tests to measure our progress every three months. We likely will not hear any news from the doctors regarding these tests until next week at the earliest as we have to wait to have them read, burned to CD, mailed to Boston, and then receive a phone call from New England. Please continue to pray that the chemo is working....so well that surgery can be avoided all together. Also, that Jordan's side effects remain tempered.

Brad

Finally...A Christmas Post

I think it is safe to say that Christmas is over for us. We had a wonderful, busy, crazy time the last few weeks and today is the first day I feel "back to normal." Of course, I think my house would disagree. We left the Friday before Christmas to spend the holidays with my family in the Dallas area and drove back to Amarillo the next Thursday. Then we headed out Friday (yes, the very next day) to drive to Taos so Brad and Eli could ski. From there we drove to Albuquerque on Sunday to celebrate Christmas/New Years with the McCalls. We drove home late Tuesday night and my parents flew in on Thursday to help us celebrate Baby Dedication Day at our church this past Sunday. Whew!!

Here is a slideshow of our time in Dallas. I haven't downloaded the pictures from the McCall Christmas off my camera so I'll have to make another slide-show later.

All in all, it was a beautiful Christmas. With everything that we've been through the last year, I was really looking forward to all the time spent with family. I had hoped to savor and enjoy each moment like a wine enthusiast sips at a very fine wine. Instead, I felt like I drank it in like a dying man in the desert would a bottled water. It went by way too quickly and now I am left with beautiful memories and a messy house that is still decorated for Christmas. Why is it so much fun to put up the the decorations and soooo exhausting and mind-numbing to take the down? Sigh. Maybe some Christmas elves will come and take it down for me...