Confession

This is a picture of some of Eli's favorite cousins that came to visit us on Friday. It was great to visit with my sisters-in-law, Paige and Kirsten, and Eli LOVED playing with his cousins!








This is the newest picture of Baby Phoebe that I took this morning. I just thought it was especially sweet. :) By the way, Phoebe's cousin, Morgan made the beautiful quilt in that picture. It is a very special gift!



Okay, I have a confession to make. I actually ran a few errands this afternoon! I was getting a little cabin feverish, so my sweet husband took me to a late lunch and then we ran a few errands out and about in Amarillo. It was great to feel somewhat normal again (although we did forget the stroller and had to carry Phoebe around a bit...we haven't done this in awhile) and I guess I feel a little guilty only because all of our precious friends are taking very good care of us. I have had so many people offer to help us do so many things and bring us so many GREAT meals that it feels like I should sneak around when I'm not lying on the couch "recuperating." I will say that after my errands I spent the evening in bed so I'm not quite back to normal yet. Oh well, it was great to get out of the house for a few hours!

Adjusting

Brad here.

Well, we have been home now for two days. Although I have been extremely busy with work and haven't been able to spend as much time at home as I would like, when I am home everyone appears to be doing good. Jordan is once again trying to do more than she has the energy to do. She often finds herself in the middle of some task that just four weeks ago was routine and cannot find the energy to complete it. She also is very tired....as am I. I think being home has allowed us to completely and fully relax which in return is showing us how tired we were and didn't fully comprehend it. Additionally, we are still dealing with the normal sleep loss routine that comes along with having a month old baby in the house:)

Anyhow, despite what I said above, we are so happy with where we are today versus just three weeks ago. Yesterday was the three week anniversary of when this all started and also marked Phoebe's first month. Therefore, we spent some time yesterday reflecting...making yesterday a little emotional for us. Although we are really happy with where we are now, we cannot help but ask why this all happened when it did. In fact, tonight I happened to be at the hospital where Phoebe was born just 29 days ago when I ran into our family minister walking in. He asked if I was there to visit a family from our church who had had a baby yesterday. I replied that I didn't know they had a baby nor did I "know" them but would love to go meet them and say hello. When I was doing this, I was looking at their precious day old baby girl and couldn't help but think....."I have one of those, too........although I feel like I don't know her any better now (29 days later) than I did when she was just a day old." Indeed, the events of this past month have been life changing.

Well, sorry about the stream of consciousness blog tonight. I hope all you were able to follow it nonetheless. Please specifically pray that Jordan continues to gain strength, we all get our rest and that God continues to use our lives and story to further his kingdom and to his glory. As I have said before, I don't know how someone who doesn't have a christian or church family survives an unexpected illness like we have. Indeed, it is good to be a disciple of our savior.

Jordan here.

WE'RE HOME!!!! After traveling all day (I realize it is only six hours from Dallas to Amarillo, but we managed to make an entire day of it! ), we got home about 5:30pm. As we got close to our exit off of I-40, Eli started to say, "We're in Anarillo! I am bery excited! We are almost to our house!" He could hardly contain himself...Brad and I felt the same way! We've been gone before, but it seems especially nice to be home after this whole "mess." In some ways, I think we feel like we'll finally get back some normalacy in our lives and start putting all this behind us. Of course, after being gone almost a month, we have a lot of unpacking to do. It is amazing how much stuff you can accumulate in that short amount of time! Oh well, there is a certain contentedness to putting your own house back in order that helps you feel at peace with the world. My mom helped us drive home so she'll be able to help tonight and tomorrow with the unpacking.

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who helped clean my house and get it together (we left it kind of a mess) and brought some food and folded laundry and checked our mail and wrote us all those precious notes. Brad and I spent the first 30 minutes at home just walking around reading those cards. They are very dear to us. It made our homecoming extremely special.

As for how I am feeling, I am tired after being in the car all day! I have felt better yesterday and today than I have the last few weeks (your body just "knows" when there are things there that do not belong) and I slept great last night. Of course, I can't do all that I want to do and that is frustrating, but Brad keeps reminding me that I will only get stronger and stronger. I am ready to be able to play more than just board games with Eli and to actually be the first one to wake up when Phoebe cries at night (so far, Brad has been the one to do that and I only realize she's been awake when he comes back to bed). Time will help...I keep reminding myself of that.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers. I know that we are being covered in prayer and I cannot express to you how comforting that is!

We're coming home to Amarillo!

Brad here.

Jordan is officially free from all medical appendages!!! Dr. Dittman removed both of her JPs this morning. Other than Jordan reporting that it felt really weird to have them removed (like someone was taking something out of her abdomen...which is what was happening), the procedure went great.

Following this, Dr. Shires wanted to see Jordan one more time before giving us the green light to travel back to Amarillo. So, Jordan and I had two hours to kill before our appointment so we went and ate a celebratory lunch -- just the two of us. It will probably be the last time we can do that for a long while :-)

Dr. Shires cleared us to travel home. He talked through our treatment protocol from here forward and I will elaborate about it more later when I have more time. In short, we will likely be coming back to Dallas to meet with Dr. Strauss (the oncologist) and to begin Gleevec in about 4 weeks time. Dr. Shires assured us we have at least 3 trips to Dallas in our future in the next few months just to see Dr. Strauss and he would see us as needed when we are in to see him.

Overall, it was a good day. We are all ready to be at our home, sleep in our own bed, get Phoebe on a "real" schedule, let Eli get back to what he knows, see friends, and worship with our gracious church family (we have really missed not being able to attend worship since Phoebe's birth). Once we arrive, I am sure Tiffani, Liz, or Jill will be organizing the volunteers as we are definitely going to need some help. For instance, Jordan cannot drive for another two weeks which will make things tricky when it comes to getting Eli where he needs to be and grocery shopping just to name a few things. I am sure it will all work out.

Thanks again for every one's prayers, cards, calls, dinners, flowers, and kind words. Dr. Shires again reiterated today just how dangerous things were for Jordan/us on March 7th when all of this began and how blessed we were to have made it to the ER when we did. He said had we waited much longer, things would have unfolded differently because of the inability to stabilize Jordan prior to surgery. I don't think we will fully comprehend all of this until we are in heaven with our Father. Thanks for loving us and hopefully our next post will be from our home computer in Amarillo!

In Him,

Brad

The 1989 Episode

Here is Don Jolly's (Jordan's dad) essay he wrote for his brother's book regarding Jordan's first encounter with cancer. Jordan was 11 years old and spent nearly two months in the hospital and endured four different surgeries. She also was in the hospital during Christmas which made a big impression on the little girl she was at the time. This is one reason why Jordan LOVES Christmas so much now.

"The tumors are located here and here and here. You can see where this one has ruptured.” The doctor was tapping with a ballpoint pen on the images produced from the endoscope exam that had just been completed on our eleven-year-old daughter. As the doctor’s words sank in, my world seemed to be spinning out of control and I was having trouble imagining the lump-like objects I was looking at residing in the belly of my little girl. The emotional roller coaster that began twenty-four hours earlier showed no signs of slowing down. My first impulse was to try and explain to the doctor that his joke was not very funny and we really needed a more sedate and plausible explanation for what we thought were the lingering effects of the flu.

In what already seemed like a million years ago, we had gone to a church class Christmas party only the night before. While everyone else in the family had struggled with and recovered from the stomach flu, Jordan continued to be sick. As a result, my wife Beverly and I left Jordan at home with our son and younger daughter with instructions to call us if there was a problem. We had barely taken off our coats at the party when our son, Ben, called asking us to come home immediately to see about Jordan. Feeling fairly certain there was nothing serious, we arrived at home to find Jordan terribly nauseated. As I set about cleaning up the mess she had made on the floor, Beverly went to check on Jordan to see what she could do to make her feel better. I grabbed a kitchen towel and mopped up the mess and noticed a reddish stain seeping through the towel. It was obviously blood. Alarmed I asked our son what Jordan had been eating or drinking before she threw up and he told me she had only had some Sprite to drink. I quickly went to Jordan’s bedroom to see how Beverly was doing, and as I walked into the room, Jordan said she felt sick again. As I tried to help her to the bathroom she fainted. The next stop was the emergency room.

The attendants in the emergency room told us Jordan was seriously anemic and required two units of blood immediately. Once that process was complete, an ambulance was summoned and she was rushed to Children’s Hospital where they stabilized her condition and prepared her for a more thorough examination and diagnosis. As I tried to understand and interpret the ramifications of each new piece of information the doctors and nurses were telling us, it seemed every new development was more surreal than the one before it.

Before Jordan was able to come home again, she had undergone four surgeries and was hospitalized for almost two months. Those two months turned into a juggling act with Beverly and me trying to balance work, family, medical decisions, and financial decisions. We took shifts at the hospital caring for Jordan, making sure one of us was with her at all times. On a typical day I would go to the office and, instead of going home, go to the hospital where I would relieve Beverly who had been there all day. Beverly’s schedule was just the opposite of mine as she took care of our other two children during the night, prepared their meals, and tried to maintain some semblance of home life. Her work was put on hold and, thankfully, her co-workers were very supportive and never complained.

Beverly and I would try to catch each other up on the most recent turn of events regarding Jordan’s condition and hastily work out the next day’s logistics as we passed one another in the hospital. It was like two trains passing in the night as one of us would gather up to leave while the other prepared to settle in for the next twelve-hour shift. During the week, Beverly would bring me a fresh set of clothes to the hospital. On the weekends, while Beverly stayed at the hospital, I took care of our children at home. While our church family surrounded us with love and support, free babysitting, meals, house cleaning, grocery shopping, and numerous other duties I cannot recall, it was a schedule guaranteed to wear down even the most resilient.

Underlying everything, of course, was the haunting concern for Jordan and how all of her pain and suffering would play out in the short term as well as in the future.

As an eleven-year-old, Jordan was old enough to understand some of what was going on and old enough to ask the hard question of why. I fumbled around trying to give her an answer that made any sense. She would ask us questions about God and why He didn’t seem to love her and why He didn’t take care of her. I remember several nights at the hospital, around three or four in the morning, when Jordan would wake up and cry because she did not understand why she had to suffer. After calming her down and soothing her back to sleep, I would ask myself the same questions and struggle with the emerging reality that tragic and traumatic events happen to normal, everyday, unsuspecting families. I, too, wondered why God seemed to remain so silent as I questioned the purpose behind this crushingly painful event and why we had to endure it. Truthfully, I cried a lot during those long, dark nights in the hospital as I gazed at my seriously ill little girl and realized there was nothing I could do to help her.

As the weeks wore on, Beverly and I felt like we had been pushed to the limits of our emotional and physical stamina.

I reached the end of my rope early one morning as I sat at the end of Jordan’s bed while she slept. I started praying to God in an honesty of spirit I had never experienced before, pleading with Him that I could no longer handle the responsibilities of trying to be God’s “answer” man to my family, friends, and especially, to my desperately ill child. I cried to God that I could no longer explain away why He would allow my innocent, sweet daughter to suffer. I do not remember my exact words or if they were expressed in any coherent manner, but the feelings expressed in my heart were the echoes of a deep and inescapable despair. What God saw, I suspect, was a desperate man, completely beaten down, pouring out the darkest fears of his soul. I am surprised that Jordan did not wake up at the sound of the sobs accompanying my prayer.

As I poured out my distress and grief, I felt the unmistakable feeling that I had come face to face with God Himself. It was not a challenging confrontation, but more of a truthful admittance I had given up, that all hope was lost, and all of my reserves were gone. My spirit was completely broken and I was totally defeated. As I admitted my helplessness, it seemed as if God had spoken the words, “I know.” While I did not hear any audible sound, I felt those words imprinted on my heart as clearly as if they’d been whispered in my ear. It was as if God had reached down to me in the depths of my despair and gathered me close to Him and rocked me in His arms until I was quieted and calmed. I believe God chose to join me in my anguish at the very moment I was desperately praying. Instead of remaining aloof and distant, He had chosen to become a full partner in my grief. What was revealed to me that night was a God who perfectly understood more than any human what I was going through. He, too, had a son who was innocent and sweet and beautiful and had endured a far greater pain than mine, as He experienced His son’s murder. His son had been humiliated and despised, not by disease, but by sin – my sin. If anyone could understand the terrible ordeal I was facing, it was God the Father. When I look through the scriptures describing a day turned dark and a temple curtain torn in two, I see evidence of a father mourning and expressing his anguish, just as I had expressed my anguish to Him.

Who better understands my grief than another father who has experienced a grief as deep or deeper than mine, and has more cause to be embittered? I think the reason I felt His words, “I know,” is because He does know, and He grieves intimately and knowingly with us.

As a minister I have opportunities to visit people struggling with their grief. Each person’s dilemma is different and I can never fully understand the depth of someone else’s despair and pain. I can, however, genuinely grieve with them and be compassionate toward them because I know what it is like to grieve. I can sincerely empathize with them because I understand from my experiences the uncertainties they feel, the loss of innocence, and how the future appears to be an ugly and dark unknown. Of even greater comfort is the knowledge our heavenly Father, in His perfection, completely understands us, cares for us, and grieves with us more intensely than anyone else.

The years that have passed since those terrible days in the hospital have brought me a better understanding of just how tenuous and transitory our life is in this world.

Our family’s faith was tested again when Jordan’s disease reappeared. Our faith did not waiver because it is based on a foundation that is solid and sure. We know God is in control and is over every situation. Thankfully, Jordan made it through the recurrence of the disease and has graduated from college, married, and recently delivered one of the most delightful gifts a father can ever receive – a grandson.

I’ll admit, there are moments when I experience sheer panic thinking about what Jordan has been through. I still cringe when she calls on the phone and I can’t seem to refrain from blurting out, “Are you okay?” Perhaps the realization that nothing is ever to be taken for granted has made me more sentimental with all of our children and their spouses. It doesn’t take much for me to start crying, whether it is saying goodbye to them after a weekend visit or when one of them sends me a sweet card. I know the experiences with Jordan’s illness have made me a little wiser, or at least a bit more cautious, about coming to any pre-conceived conclusions about how God works. Because He has heard me and cared for me in ways that go beyond words, I now have a deep and abiding belief in Him and know I worship a God who really does care and who personally grieves when any one of His children hurts.

You know, I have never gotten an answer to the “why” question. Maybe “why” questions should not be asked of a grief partner. Perhaps our questions to God should be limited to “what” is my response to You, and “how” do You want me to reflect your tenderness and compassion? I believe the answers to those questions will be revealed to us in His own time and in His own way – to His glory and to our deliverance.

Update

Brad here.

Well, many may be wondering how things are for us since we came home from the hospital. Overall, things have been good. Jordan has had more good days than bad. She continues to over estimate her strength and bites off more than she can chew. For those of you who know Jordan, this probably doesn't surprise you. I have been in Amarillo since Wednesday morning and returned again tonight. While I was in Amarillo she held the fort down with the help of her dad and Amy Coffey. However, on Thursday Jordan held the fort down by herself (see my previous comment about biting off more than she can chew and insert here).

On the medical/return to Amarillo front (as a family) we know we are here at least through Monday. Jordan has a procedure scheduled at 9:00 a.m. Monday morning with Dr. Dittman (Radiologist at Presby). We are hoping that at this time he will remove the two JPs (drains). I think it got lost in the excitement of coming home last Monday that Dr. Dittman didn't remove as we expected one of the JPs during last Monday's procedure. I didn't talk to him following the procedure to ask why....so my guess is that he decided if I am going to leave one in for another week, why not just keep both in. In any event, Jordan is tired of having them. I tell her that it looks like she is wearing a bomb around as the JPs look like grenades and they rest around her waste line. This comment is especially true when we have to water proof her with cellophane so she can take a shower.

So, back to the hopeful itinerary as I digressed for a second there. If all goes well and the drains are removed and no other additional follow up appointments are scheduled for the rest of next week, then we hope to travel home on Tuesday. Please pray that Jordan continues to gain strength between now and then and that we can return home to our home in Amarillo next week. When I was there for two nights this past week, it was so nice although I basically was only home long enough to sleep and shower. In any event, there simply is no place like home despite the fact that there is no care like that your mom can give. Hopefully we can give the former a try soon!

Otherwise, Eli and Phoebe are making it just fine. Many still continue to drop in to visit (which is very nice...so, keep coming. We will let you know when we are covered up and need to rest) and bring meals (this is also nice but since I haven't been here the last few days I don't know if we are covered up with meals or not....but someone could ask Beverly if they are wondering). We continue to enjoy reading and communicating with many of you through the blog. Jordan reports that while I was in Amarillo she tried to read the blog daily but could never find ample time to post any new news (sorry).

In Him,

Brad

The 1999 Episode

Many have been asking and I am sure others have been wondering about Jordan's previous two bouts with these GI Stromal Tumors. Through out the blog we have alluded to a 1999 event and an earlier event that happened when Jordan was 11. A few years back Jordan's uncle, Randy Jolly, asked Jordan and her dad Don to write a short essay for a book he was compiling and seeking to publish regarding Christians in the midst of crisis. This book was recently published and is titled, "Do not be afraid". I am sure Randy would love it if you looked it up and bought a few copies.

Below is the essay Jordan wrote for the book. I read this essay about two months ago to our Sunday school class so it should be familiar to some. Jordan wrote her essay based on the 1999 version. Don wrote his from the 1989 version. Later, I will post Don's version. Of course, this blog is sort of the 2007 version in progress. I hope Jordan's words below will help many of you understand a little better our fear two weeks ago today when we were re-diagnosed and at the same time our relief a week ago today when we learned there is now a non-surgical treatment.

I was engaged! I was finally engaged! After three years of dating, dreaming, and nagging, I was engaged and had been for a whole week! As I drove to Lubbock that Friday in November, I was so excited. I had passed my candle in club at ACU and we had tentatively set a date for the next June. Brad was in law school so I did most of the driving that semester back and forth, but I didn’t mind because it gave me the time to dream the big “wedding” dreams that had taken up so much of my time the past few months. My life could not have been much more wonderful. What awesome blessings God had bestowed on me. What could I have done to deserve such beautiful things?

I should have known that it was all too good to be true. Isn’t that how life worked? Just when you think your life couldn’t get any better, some huge obstacle blocks your path.

The next morning, after having gone to dinner and movie with Brad, and then spending the night at my aunt’s house, I woke up SICK! On my way to the bathroom to throw up yet again, I passed out. I woke up with my aunt and Brad driving around trying to find a minor emergency clinic who would give me the fluids to get me back on track. I ended up in the emergency room where they started doing tests to find out what was wrong with me. It was definitely not the flu, as they had first thought.

My parents had been camping that weekend and no one could get in touch with them because cell phones don’t work in the boonies. As evening approached and the doctors decided to admit me to the hospital because they still couldn’t find out the problem, my parents’ best friends finally got in touch with them and they started making the 8-hour drive to Lubbock from East Texas. I was in the hospital and I was scared, but mostly I was mad. I was almost finished with school and I was engaged to a wonderful guy, how could this happen? Finals started the next week and then student teaching after that. I had a wedding to plan. WHAT was going on? My parents arrived late that night and we all waited and waited for the test results to show something.

Monday morning, the doctors had finally figured it out. My cancer tumors were back. I had them first when I was eleven and they removed part of my stomach and my gallbladder through four different surgeries and a two-month stay in the hospital. It was the defining months of my childhood. It had helped me to understand that God is always there and loves us even when bad things happen. I knew that already. Why were they back? Why now? Through that whole ordeal, did I not learn those lessons well enough? Was it just another example of God’s “reminders” that things aren’t always as great as we think they are? We all sat on the bed, hugging and crying, silently asking God these same questions.

That night, after making plans to move me to Dallas where my parents lived and making arrangements with my professors, I lay in bed exhausted and worried and scared. Brad had decided to stay up at the hospital with me overnight and he was asleep. I was ALONE. Even with someone else in the room who loved me dearly and would do anything for me, I was alone. As I cried about what I thought could never be, I wouldn’t be able to get married or have children, I prayed in desperation like I never had before. Amazingly, I began to feel a peace come over me. I would call it a heavy peace because I could feel begin to rest in every inch of my body. As I lay there, I begin to know that God was here. He was watching. He was controlling the situation. He wanted to give me what my heart desired. I knew in that moment that I would be okay; that I would make it through this. God didn’t want to “remind” that when things are going great that something bad would always happen. He didn’t do this to make me relearn the lessons I had already so painfully learned. This was just something that happened to an imperfect body in an imperfect world. We will never be truly blessed or truly perfect until we are with Him.

Throughout the next few months, things were really hard. I had multiple other tests to identify exactly where the tumors were. On the Monday after Thanksgiving, I had a surgery that totally removed my stomach and a part of my liver. I stayed in Dallas to recuperate at home and Brad went back to Lubbock to tackle the first finals in law school. I spent Christmas trying to regain strength and weight while going to numerous follow-ups and tests. I went back to school to finish my student teaching, graduate, and plan the wedding. When things looked desperate and I started to worry about what my life would be like or how much of a life I would actually have, I would remember that peace from the night in the hospital and the knowledge that God had given me that it would turn out for good. Even when it looked like it wouldn’t, I could just remind myself that God was there and had a hand in the way things would happen.

People say that in the worst of times is when you learn the most about the ways of God and life. It’s true. Brad and I learned that we could rely on each other through the worst of any situation as long as our eyes are turned to God. We learned that “timetables” don’t matter and the relationships you have with people do. I learned that God will always give peace and comfort and courage when it is needed. I realized once again the power of the community of God and why He put it here for us. I learned that God doesn’t let things happen to people or make them happen…they just do because we live in such an imperfect world and God is there anyway. I learned that He loves us so much we cannot even begin to imagine it.

Brad and I were married on June 10, 2000. It was a day of celebration, not just of the marriage, but of the promises God made. Exactly three years later (after a very uneventful pregnancy), on June 10, 2003, we had our first child, Eli. We are living a wonderful life, although I still don’t enjoy going to the doctor. Maybe there will always be that small, scared part of me that will worry and wonder, but a bigger part of me will never forget the peace and courage that God gives in the worst of times.

The happy moment!

Eli holding a picture of his mom at the hospital;

Phoebe Mae McCall (18 days old)

A new phase!

Brad here.

Well, it has been a few days since I personally posted on the blog. This is due in part to Jordan feeling up to doing it Sunday and then not having computer access....until now (we have been able to read comments on my blackberry, however). Thanks to my father-in-law and Erica for helping keep everyone informed.

I titled this entry "a new phase" because as Jordan and I have been visiting the last couple of hours we feel as though we have left the two hospital phases (ICU and room 601) and have entered a new phase recovering here at her parent's home in Red Oak, Texas (just south of Dallas on I-35)(and this phase is so much better by the way than the hospital phases). We also realize that although we are no longer in the hospitalized phase, we still have a long road ahead of us as Jordan still has two tumors in her body; however, this road should be made much easier if Gleevek can cause these tumors to die without the need for additional surgery.

Praise God for advances in medicine since 1999 as back then we were told no traditional treatment (chemo and radiation) would work against the GI Stromal Tumors (GIST) Jordan has. Thus, our only treatment was surgical in that if the tumors came back, the surgeons would just cut them out again (and we have hoped and prayed the past 7 + years that they wouldn't come back, but if they did, that they would be operable). The Gleevek stage is probably still a few weeks or months ahead of us still based on Dr. Shires comment that this therapy usually begins eight weeks post op.

There is a link on the blog to a brochure about Gleevek. Many of you may have already read it. Dr. Shires did tell us a little bit more about the development of this drug than what you will find on the brochure that you may find interesting. Frankly, I think it is another example of God's hand working in all of this. Dr. Shires told us Gleevek was initially developed by a researcher who was trying to find a treatment for a rare form of adult lukemia (sp). Apparently, every patient who had this rare form of lukemia had a specific mutated protein marker (C-Kit for short...the exact marker can be found in the broucher for all of you who are in the medical field and want the exact name). Gleevek was tested and was proven to treat this rare form of adult lukemia. Upon learning this, the researchers decided to test it against every other known form of cancer to see what other cancers Gleevek could treat. Well....yep, you guessed it. The only other cancers Gleevek worked with were GIST. Praise God! As one of my friends who is a pharmacist told me, we are extremely blessed to have one of the few rare forms of cancer that there is a pill that can be taken to treat it and defeat it! We are optimistic by all of this news...news that has been needed and we have been hoping for for 18 years now. Specifically pray that once treatment begins with Gleevek, Jordan's tumors will respond to the drug....regardless if the pathology results seem to indicate they will in the lab.

The last 24 hours have been exciting and exhausting for all of us. Jordan and I were so happy as we drove home from the hospital about this time yesterday. We both teared up and cried we were so happy! We shared with each other how much we loved each other and how this all once again solidified our love for one another (just like it did in 1999). Once we drove up to Don and Beverly's house, Eli met us at the car. He stood at Jordan's door and when she opened it he said, "MOM! You aren't sick any more!!????!!" He was so excited to have his mom home and not in the hospital. Jordan immediately went inside and started feeding Phoebe a bottle. I will post some pictures of this happy occasion later. The exhausting part came once we came off of this high and realized how tired we were from our 13 days in the hospital.

Some of you may have noticed I figured out how to post a "counter" on the blog that keeps track of the number of hits the blog is getting. It was Sunday night about 8:45 when I figured this out. I am stunned... absolutely stunned by how many hits the blog has had in less than two days! This also tells us how loved we are! In any event, there is your answer Pam regarding how many people are reading this blog.

In Him,

Brad

Jordan's Been Sprung!!

Erica here (friend/co-worker of Brad's)

Brad asked me to pass this message along to all friends and family. They do not have a way to post a blog at this point and wanted to share their good news...

JORDAN'S BEEN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL!!

The McCall family is resting at Jordan's parents' home near Dallas, much more comfortably, I might add. The only thought I have at this point is a song sung by Rufus Wainwright- "Hallelujah," a blues-y uplifting tune from Shrek.

Brad added that Jordan has an appointment at the beginning of next week, and hopefully the drains will be removed. But right now, they are satisfied in bonding with Phoebe (especially during the night hours) and having Eli remind them of child-like wonders of life. Oh, and I believe Brad has been put on laundry and night patrol (w/ Phoebe). What can I say? What goes around comes around!

Again, Jordan and Brad would like to thank everyone for prayers, gifts, visits, etc. We look forward to hearing more from Jordan and Brad soon! Until next time...

Keep the faith- it works miracles.

Erica

Jordan's dad again,
Jordan and Brad are headed to our house right now! Hoorah! She has been cleared for a few days and is headed here to spend uninterupted time with kids and all of us. I'm not sure what the schedule is from here on out, but I'm sure Brad and Jordan will keep you updated.
The words from the old spiritual hymn keep coming back to me, " free at last, free at last, praise God Almighty, we are free at last!" Amen and Amen.
Don

Jordan's dad here.
Brad called and ask that I post that Jordan is going in in the next few minutes to have the procedure done that will remove one drain and reset the original drain, so she can get out of the hospital and come to our house where Eli and Phoebe are staying. She should be out in a relatively short period of time, but may have to wait until tomorrow to come home (giving time for the anethesia to wear off)
Let me also say that Eli and Phoebe are doing really well. Eli is handling this like the son of a couple of other troopers at the hospital. He has remained fun and update with a minimum of meltdowns (actually he has probably had fewer than I) And Miss Phoebe is a dream baby. She is pleasant and stays on schedule in the midst of a lot of transition, she is a doll and has captured at least this old grandaddy's heart. We are staying faithful and everyone is doing well.
Don

Jordan typing...again

Life is all about perspective. Yesterday was a really hard day and we were really frustrated with having to still be in the hospital and still hurting and still sleeping on a plastic bed and still unable to walk more than 20 yards without needing to sit down and blah, blah, blah. Today has been much better. It is amazing how taking your pain pills will change your "perspective." :) Anyway, I decided to list a few things that just need to be looked at in the right light to be appreciated. Some are serious and some are fun, but I thought I'd share them with you.

1. We will never have more free baby sitting than we have had the last twelve days. My in-laws, and my parents, and my sister, and brother and sister-in-law and countless others have really stepped up to the plate on taking care of my kiddos. So...we decided to spend that free babysitting sitting in the hospital and not going to a movie or on a 12 day restful vacation on a beach or in the mounatains...I guess this was sort of our choice:-)

2. The desserts at Presby Dallas are excellent. I mean really, really good!

3. People don't care if you look like crud and are actually impressed when you take a shower. In the real world, they would all think "she should really take better care of herself."

4. Serious surgery helps you lose some of that pregnancy weight that I was really dreading having to deal with.

5. Post-partum recovery is not near as bad if you are on a morphine drip for about a week and then really good pain pills after that. It has defenitely taken a backseat.

6. I haven't changed a diaper in 12 days. Or gotten up in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby. Phoebe is already sleeping 6 hours a stretch a night so really I missed the worst part.

7. There has been no laundry to do, no dishes to clean, no feelings of "I should really be doing _________." I actually read a book!

8. I know that I am BLESSED...no, flooded, with people who love me and my family. The prayers and help have been overwhelming and Brad and I are humbled.

9. We have a hope about beating this cancer. It was always something that scared Brad and I in the back of our minds because it might come back. Well, it did and there is a drug that will take care of it now. Sure, I may have to take it for the rest of my life, but my tumors should respond to it and we may never have to deal with all of this again!

10. The Lord has taken care of us. He has given us more than we could ever have imagined. He will continue to take care of us and I can rest easy in that knowledge.

On another note, here is a funny story about Eli (who by the way has been the comic relief to all of this and I hope to write down all the funny things he has done or said the past twelve days because they really will cheer you up!) My friend Stephanie came to visit a few days ago and she brought her precious 9 month old baby boy with her. When she got to the hospital, she came in the room and told Eli, "I have a present for you." He looked at her, he looked at her son and said very seriously, "But I already have a baby." I guess maybe Phoebe is making a bigger impression than we all think!

On the medical front, please continue praying for my procedure tomorrow. Pray that it happens early enough in the day that I can be discharged to my parent's house in south Dallas tomorrow afternoon so we don't have to stay another night in the hospital. Pray that I handle anesthesia well again. It is really hard on Brad to see me anesthesized or right after I have come out of being anesthesized (Brad tells me that is a word but I may not be spelling it right) so pray for him too. Also pray that I get some sleep tonight and that the PCT (patient care tech) doesn't decide to take my vitals every 30 minutes like he did last night!!! Finally, pray that I continue to regain my strength (see my comment above about walking more than a few feet without feeling tired). My appetite is coming back slowly so I know this will help!

Thanks again for thinking of us! We love you all dearly and continue to love reading everyone's comments on our blog. A visitor asked us today if we knew how many people were reading are blog and we responded we had no idea but we knew it had to be a lot. She agreed as she said she had been reading since the beginning and hadn't posted a comment until just recently and we have heard about many others who are reading it but haven't posted a comment(s).

Thanks for loving us!

Groundhog Day

Brad here.

Well, today has been another day here at Presby Dallas. Today is actually our 11th day. In some ways this has felt like an eternity while in other ways time has flown by. Regardless, we are officially fed up with room 601. We had a house doctor, the resident, and a nurse convinced we could leave this morning, Dr. Shires wasn't and ordered us to stay at least til Monday. The cynical side of me thinks we must just have good insurance! I know this isn't the case, but I feel like we are in a cab with the meter running and the cab driver is taking the long way to our destination. Anyhow, see the title of this post and you will understand the mood of the room now.

In any event, Jordan and I talked about why we are so ready to leave (not because we feel like we are back to full strength) and there were many reasons. First on the list is we don't feel like we are getting to bond with our daughter. Yes, we do get to see her a few hours a day, but when she does fuss we don't know or cannot even begin to know the reason why. We don't know her cries; we don't know when her last nap was; we don't know when she last ate; we don't know if she is cold or hot. We also are missing Eli. We know we are biased since he is our son, but we think he is pretty cool to hang out with. We also are missing seeing him and Phoebe bond...something we will never get back. Of course, on the upside Jordan is doing a lot better and we know how we are going to beat her cancer! So, as you can see, we have a lot to be thankful for and the things I itemized regarding the kids are only temporary.

On the medical front, Dr. Shires stoped in this morning (as you know he said we couldn't leave) and told us Jordan is doing great! We discerned the reason we are still in the hospital is that her drains are still producing more "stuff" than they should be and he wants to allow time for them to work. He also made some comment that we spent $5,000 trying to find her fever and never found it! "Really?"...was my reaction. I think he told us this to temper our desire to leave because all we really have to show for this $5,000 is one more drain that is scheduled to be taken out (if all goes well) on Monday. He also told us that most Gleevek treatments begin eight weeks post operation so we shouldn't be wondering why we haven't started taking it. Moreover, before we begin Gleevek a P.E.T. scan will need to be taken so the oncologist has a baseline from which to judge if the Gleevek is working. We are still basically where we were yesterday, but in some ways, I guess that is a blessing!

If anyone would like some specific prayer requests, here are a few: that nothing unexpected happens while we are waiting to go home, that the procedure on Monday goes well and that is it done in the morning so we can go home on Monday, and finally that our family continues to weather this storm thru the strong arms of Our Heavenly Father. Thanks for your continued prayers!

In Him, Brad

Doing good...

Brad here.

This morning Dr. Shires made an apperance and had the following to report:

The additional "stains" being tested by pathology also indicated we have the traditional GI Stromal Tumors. Frankly, we had forgotten that we were told more "stains" were going to be done (I think on Monday or Tuesday morning) once we got the results from Dr. Strauss Wednesday evening;

The pathology also indicated that the "margins" of the tumor removed a week ago today from the liver were cancer cell free;

He FINALLY put Jordan on a solid food diet. Jordan ate her first "solid" foods since March 6th! For all of you intersted folks it was half of a roll and three bites of breaded chicken. She also has eaten a few peanut butter crackers.

Since we are on solid foods, Jordan can take her pain medication orally. Therefore, Jordan's last IV was removed. She finally is disconnected from the hospital. Of course, she still has two drains so she still has tubes in her.

Finally, and the unfortunate news, Jordan will have to undergo another "procedure" on Monday to make sure the drain installed on Wednesday has finished its job. If so, that tube will be removed and the drain by the surgery site that we have had since last Friday will be downsized. If all of this is done early enough in the day, we can leave Monday. If not, we will have to stay until Tuesday (sigh) :-(.

Jordan's spirits are good today. The kids have been up and they are doing good. We have a lot of visitors today from towns outside of Dallas continuing to show us how loved we are by people all over!

Attached are some pictures taken the last few days!

In Him,

Brad

A better day!

Brad here.

Well, I am sure many have been wondering about how are day has gone today so I decided to fill everyone in.....even though I am pleased to say there isn't much to report.

Today has been a good day. We all have been relieved today about our prognosis and are optimistic. Jordan has been sleeping more too (because she isn't in as much pain). Eli and Phoebe were up today for a few hours which is a blessing. Also, Erica from my office came by with many gifts from my firm. Thank you MHB, Erica and Kim!!! The BIG basket was nice! Eli liked his gifts as well. I wish I knew who is responsible for what gifts in the basket so I could personally thank you....but Erica wouldn't tell me. Erica also brought to us some of Phoebe's clothes that were sitting in Amarillo going unused. Jordan was happy to receive these outfits as she had invisioned Phoebe wearing many of them since her showers and was afraid she would out grow them before we made it back home.

Jordan is still running a fever off and on today, but it doesn't seem to be as high or stay as long when it comes. Please pray that the fever subsides and doesn't return. We haven't seen a doctor today....which I think is a good sign. Therefore, I don't have a lot more to say about anything else on the medical front. We are optimistic we will be able to leave by Saturday. We will know more once we see the doctor.

Many have asked how I am doing? Frankly, yesterday was my second hardest day since this all began. The day ended GREAT, but going through yesterday afternoon's procedures was hard on me. I think I finally had reached the end of my rope and having two hours alone during those procedures that ended in the all too familiar waiting room was just too much. I am better now, however.

We love reading everyone's comments and check them often. We wish we could personally respond to each, but we don't know how to short of writing an email. We have enjoyed reconnecting with many of you, but we wish it were under different circumstances. In some way I feel like we have become "famous", but for doing nothing! I know we aren't, but rather we are simply blessed to be a part of God's earthly Kingdom in the "information age" and it would be the same if you were in our shoes.

In Him,

Brad

HALLELUJAH! GOOD NEWS!

Amy again! Just as I was finishing the last blog entry, Dr. Jim Strauss the oncologist with Texas Oncology here at PHD stopped by. He gave the report that the tumor DOES HAVE the characteristic protein markers that show that it should respond to the Gleevek!!!!! Joy in the midst of the pain - lots of smiles around the room! ....and tears of happiness and relief...
Brad said he now feels he has his wife back - a future together - their children will grow up knowing their mother and maybe even their children!!! What a relief and a time for celebration...
She must first recover and heal enough to do a PET scan in a couple of weeks after which she will start the Gleevek. Repeat scans will follow every few weeks to monitor the response of the tumors.
For now... Thank you Lord Jesus for your love and faithfulness...for the blessing of hope and future together!

Back to the room

Amy here again...Got here just as Brad was finishing the last blog entry. Fairly emotional time sitting by yourself with so many memories of that same room and even sitting in the same chair! Well timed arrival I think...
Jordan was in recovery for about 45 minutes and just got back up here right after Carrie and Eli arrived back from the Ft Worth Zoo and Ben and Sarah were here to feed Phoebe after work. Phoebe is doing well with her formula; Eli is running around like a crazy person. Beverly and Brad are in with Jordan now letting Eli pat his mother (gingerly!).
Emotionally hard day for both of them...every CT brings either fear or complications and more procedures. Jordan very emotional as she is hurting in new places that she knows were not where the problems were and were not hurting before. She does have only one new drain but having pain around her old drain and this scares her. Reassured that pain is in a area that should hurt when it's been manipulated so has calmed enough to give Eli some attention. The sedation and procedures have started her recovery clock over again with the same issues of pain control, nausea and sleep issues we fear. Not as invasive this time so hopefully faster.
All the wishes and prayers are soooo appreciated. They check the page often and are amazed at the outpouring of love felt from so many close and far removed people! They have plenty of snacks now and the room is beginning to smell more like a florist shop than a hospital room (not a bad thing by the way). Brad is looking forward to a regular meal at home but that may be a few days away still. Jordan just wants to go home - at least to her parents house - anywhere OUT of the hospital!
Pray for rapid relief from the new pain, no reaccumulation of the fluid, no return of the fevers, and negative cultures. Continue to pray that the pathology on the tumor taken Friday will show favorable signs for the chemotherapy treatment. Finally, pray for Eli...
Amy

The procedure is finished

Jordan came through again! I got to say hi to her as they wheeled her to recovery where she is now and will remain for about 45 minutes. The radiologist told me he only added 1 new drain and not the 2 they thought they would need. Apparently, the existing drain worked to drain some of the fluid that was present where it was placed since the CT this morning.

I feel as if I just came full circle as the waiting room they sent me to and where I am typing this entry from is the same one I sat in seven years ago during her surgery for six hours. I do remember studying civ pro flash cards here with Cheryl Rinehart. It is erie.

Brad

Procedure is beginning!

Begin praying if you haven't already been. The procedure should take 30 minutes to a hour. We are not "scared" now, but are "apprehensive". Jordan told me before she went it she is tired and just wants it to be Saturday so she can go home. I agree.

Brad

For those of you who are interested in finding out more information about Gleevek, you can click on the link titled "Gleevek information" in the right hand corner of the page. When you do so, it will download a brochure with information. It also provides a little information on the type of tumors that Jordan has. They are called gastro-intestinal stromal tumors.

Small bump.....

Dr. Shires was in about 40 minutes ago and told us the CT scan showed there is fluid in two seperate places in Jordan's abdomen and he suspects this is the cause of the persistant fever. So, Jordan will be undergoing another procedure today (involves inserting a needle and then inserting a tube). In the end, Jordan will have three (she has one now) drains. The fluid will be tested to assure that it is the source of the infection. This procedure could be done any time between now and 8 p.m. In the mean time, Jordan's fever has broke, she has taken a shower, and Phoebe is hanging out here at the hospital. She is in good spirits, but we are saddened by this new delay. Consequently, if everything goes as planed (see above), then the earliest we could leave the hospital is now Saturday (sigh).

Changing gears, Phoebe is now two weeks old as of 12:03 p.m., and doing good. Eli is....well, coping. He went to the zoo with his aunt Carrie. Also, this Wednesday is going a lot better than last Wednesday! God is good and with the help of prayer warriors and of so many we will make it through this stronger than we were when we started.

Brad

Night Nurse Report

This is Amy Coffey, Jordan's mom's 1st cousin which makes me Jordan's 1st cousin once removed but I act like her aunt. I am also "The Giant"'s mother (my son, Jesse, is 16 and 6'7" and that is Eli's nickname for him). Now on to the important stuff.
Jordan slept fairly well last night with few arousals and no fights in her sleep although I think she called me down once thinking I was Eli. The new sleeping pill is working better. She began the night having chills then sweats after Tylenol and Motrin was given for the fever which got up to 103 about 3 AM. Her fevers began after her surgery Friday. She does have a urinary tract infection related to having a Foley catheter (not removed) but was given the magic orange pill to relieve the pain (Pyridium - the miracle drug!) and is on an IV antibiotic until she can take oral meds. They took out her central line also as a possible site of the fever. We changed pillow cases and gowns and went through a quite few wash cloths drying herself off - the worst she has had so far. This may be the fever beginning to pass or just a result of the Motrin acting so well. Her white blood cell count and ratio of types of cells remain normal arguing against an infection. Her blood pressure was back to normal for her this morning (106/76) - a good sign that things are improving.
Dr Shires came by about 8 AM and told us all the things Stephanie put in her entry - hard to wait not having confirmation that the news will be good.
She got a couple of bites of cream of wheat down before they took it away because of the planned CT with contract (oops!) but it didn't delay her. She is in the scanner now which should take about an hour to look for clotted vessels in the pelvis (not unheard of after a delivery) or abdomen, residual free blood left over in the abdomen or "blebs" in the lungs (I think he meant little collapsed air cells - alveoli - in the lungs; that is not pneumonia but can cause fevers after anesthesia).
She and Brad are REALLY READY to be out of here. Jordan feels normal enough that she feels she should be home. If it weren't for the fevers she would be as soon as she can tolerate oral pain meds and antibiotics.
Her spirits are up and she is acting normally even through the chills and sweats! Intrepid is the best word I can think of.
God has been so faithful over the past 17(!) years as she and the whole family have battled with all the crises they have had to endure. Don and Beverly are doing well, being calm and courageous for Eli. Carrie, Ben and Sarah have been incredible, stepping up to fill in the gaps. The timing over Carrie and Beverly's spring break has been great for their peace of mind.
As physicians who have followed her progress from the first, Allen and I almost know too much of what could have happened, what could still happen, and what the future may hold for her cancer treatment. However, we have had "the peace that passes understanding" this time - very different from her past episodes. I cannot explain this except that God is truly in control and is using this to show His power! I have no doubt in my mind that "this too will pass" and life will eventually get back to normal for them (OK a new normal but a future filled with hope!).
Thank you from our family for your faithfulness, love, prayers and support!
Amy

Fever

This is Stephanie typing. Brad called me on his way to the hospital this morning. Jordan's doctor has already been by this morning, and this is what he said.

Jordan is still running a fever. The doctor said that sometimes people run a fever after liver surgery, but he doesn't want to take any chances. He ordered a CT scan (neck to knees) to be done today. Please pray that they will be able to locate the source of the fever. Also pray that the source of the fever is something that is easily treated.

The doctor also said that pathology is going to have to do more stains on the tumor. Apparently they took samples from the center of the tumor and that part of the tumor is "dead." So they are going to take samples from a different part of the tumor. Pray that the new stains will cooperate, and that the tumor will be responsive to Gleevek.

Brad was a bit discouraged on the phone. I'm sure that Jordan is not real excited about all of this news either. While it isn't necessarily bad news, it is a complication. At a time like this, you just want everything to go smoothly. Pray for everyone's emotional well being. While you are at it, pray for Jordan's doctors as well. Pray that God will grant them the wisdom and knowledge that they need in order to provide Jordan the best possible care.

Jordan Typing

Hello Family & Friends:
I spent some time today reading all of the blogs that Brad and Stephanie have posted and all of everyone's comments and I was so overwhelmed that I cried (typical) and just felt the need to write a short "something." The first thing is THANK YOU. Thank you for your prayers. I know it feels like you aren't doing anything, but I know that the Lord is hearing those and blessing us because of them. Thank to all of our friends in Amarillo who packed bags, brought cars, took my son to the Dr, called my in-laws to make sure they were doing okay, picked up mail, prayed for me while I was at the hospital getting ready to fly to Dallas, just spent a moment of your day thinking of me and my family and saying a little prayer. Thank you to all of my friends who live in other towns and have come to visit (even though I was really drugged at the time...sorry Rebekah) or called to offer anything they could or prayed for a moment for my family and me. Thank you to all who have visited or offered help or are praying (is anybody noticing a theme?) I have been surrounded by a community of believers that is a blessing in every sense of the word. I want to write more and thank you each and everyone that has touched me, but that would really take forever (some days there are 30 blog hits!) and not even begin to cover half of you. I am already having to really concentrate past the painkiller right now to not let me eyes roll back in my head so I'll cut it short. Thank you. I love you all. Every single one of you. I hope to be home soon and get to spend some time writing about all the wonderful things that have come out of this. It really was my plan to take over the blog anyway after Phoebe was born and make it cute and tell you all about the adventures of life as a stay-at-home mom with two precious (or maybe I meant precocious) babies! It may still happen, but since I don't like to do things like everybody else, my "adventures" may be a little different!:) I love you.
Jordan

P.S. (Do people write those on blogs? I'm kind of new at all this!) If you would like some specific prayer requests, here they are: please pray that these tumors are the one that respond to Gleevec and we can start treatment soon, please pray that my children "adjust" to this, please pray that those closest to me (Brad, my parents, my siblings) stay healthy and whole. I know how often those people forget to eat or sleep or any number of everyday things because they are the caretakers. Thanks.

Little Miss Phoebe with her eyes open!

This is Stephanie (Jordan's friend) typing.

If you are anything like me, you have been checking for an update throughout the day. I finally gave up at 5:30, and called Brad. Here it is:

First of all, they have not heard anything back about whether Jordan's tumor will respond to Gleevek.

Jordan has been running a fever off and on since the surgery. It spiked to 103 last night. The doctors have been trying to figure out what was causing it. They found out that she has a bladder infection, so they have started treating that with antibiotics. The doctors ran a few other tests just to make sure that the bladder infection wasn't "masking" another problem, and everything has come back fine.

Jordan slept good last night. She tried a new sleeping pill. It worked so well, that she didn't wake up to push the pump for the pain medicine. At 3 am she woke up in the worst pain that she has been in since she has been in the hospital. Once they pushed the pain pump a few times, it got back under control, and she was able to rest.

Jordan has felt good today. She hasn't been on any walks today. They did remove the catheter, so she has been walking to and from the bathroom. I guess we will let that count for today. : )

She is now on a soft food diet. Her sister brought her a frosty from Wendy's, and she ate about half of that. I don't think she is missing the broth at all!

The kids have been up at the hospital for most of the day. When I was talking to Brad, all 4 of them were in the hospital bed.

If everything goes well, Jordan may be released from the hospital on Thursday. That is not set in stone by any means.

When I was up visiting Jordan yesterday, her nurse kept saying how lucky Jordan was to be alive. She said that she wanted to go and buy a lottery ticket and rub it on Jordan for luck. Of course we all know that luck has nothing to do with the fact that Jordan is still here. Thank you God for taking care of Jordan and her family!

Today

Brad here again.

Today has been another good day as we continue to make progress. Last night was a long night, however. Neither Jordan nor I slept much. If it wasn't her wild dreams, it was the IV setting off alarms every 20 minutes or the nurses coming in to check vitales. Tonight Jordan's dad Don gets to enjoy a restful night of sleep here at the hospital :). I will be heading to her parent's house to spend some time with Eli (he really needs some attention from me).

Jordan had her central line removed this afternoon. This is great! She also took a shower this morning. She really loved washing her hair and feeling human again. She also has walked once today and plans to walk again one more time. She also hopes to be moving to a soft food diet soon. The clear food diet is getting old and she is ready for some "real" food.

I wasn't with Jordan much today as I had to take Phoebe to a pediatrician for her 2 week check up (2 days early). Everything about Phoebe is great which is a comfort to Jordan. Two of my friends from my ACU days drove in this morning to see me and Jordan so I asked if they wanted to go with me to the appoitment. They did and once we were at the office and eating lunch we felt a little odd and I know we had to turn some heads. I felt like three men and a little baby.

Jordan has been able to hold and feed Phoebe twice today. Eli was up for about an hour too.

We have been receiving a lot of nice flowers today. Thanks to everyone who has sent them.

Continue to pray for good tissue results tomorrow or Wednesday and for Jordan's continued recovery. We still don't know when we will get to leave the hospital, but we feel like we are making progress now. So long as we get good tissue results, I think we should be able to leave the hospital some time this week....although we probably will spend a few days at Jordan's parents house before we come home to Amarillo as she will still need to gain strength (coupled with the need for someone to keep up with the kids).

Gotta go! Jordan wants to walk again!

The rest of the story.....

Brad here again.

Today has been the best day we have had since this entire ordeal started. We were transfered out of ICU, Jordan got to spend about an hour with Phoebe and Eli holding each for about 20 minutes and feeding Phoebe a bottle, and her pain level has reached it lowest level. Praise God for all of these great developments today. Jordan also walked the length of the hallway (probably 50 yards). She also was able to sit in the waiting room and watch Eli eat his favorite food.....beans from Taco Bueno. We also have had a great evening together here in the room visting and reading everyone's comments on the blog. Tonight I really felt like I had my wife back! She received a sleeping pill a few minutes ago so she is sleeping now. I am going to spend the night in her room tonight for the first time so now is a good time to reflect on what has transpired since Wednesday morning. This is the "rest of the story".

As word of Jordan's condition has spread to our community of friends and family outside of Amarillo, many have been asking me how it was we came to Dallas for surgery on Friday morning. Although not much time passed on the clock, there is a lot to say.

Tuesday evening my parents drove in from Albuquerque to see Phoebe Mae who was born five days earlier. We had a nice evening at home with them with Jordan showing my mom the nursery, all of Phoebe's clothes, and enjoying our new little girl. Everyone went to bed as normal. At about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday morning Jordan wakes me by saying: "Take this baby! I cannot breast feed her right now. It hurts too much to breathe." I took Phoebe dazed and confused and tried to calm her down as she wasn't happy about having her feeding cut short. Jordan was continue to complain of pain and asked me to rub her back. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to complete the feeding, Jordan got up and went into the kitchen and made a bottle. I was feeding it to Phoebe in bed while Jordan sat in bed hunched over. Jordan speculated she was having an asthma (sp) attack, but she also complained that her stomach was hurting.

She then went into our master bathroom and turned the shower on hot to see if the steam would help. It didn't. She called to me to come rub her back. Phoebe was finally content so I laid her down and went to her. She was still hurting and having a hard time breathing. We looked for her inhaler and couldn't find it. I then remembered that albutoral (sp) is the medicine in her inhaler and it is what our son Eli uses with his breathing treatment machine we call the penguin. So, I went into Eli's room and closet to get it and woke my parents and told them Jordan was having an asthma attack but to not worry. Jordan did the breathing treatment and seemed to calm down. She then called her OBGYN and the on call doctor called and spoke to Jordan. He told her he didn't believe her symptoms were related to delivery but if she would like she could go to the ER. Jordan and I discussed whether we should go, but she decided not to but rather to try to relax by taking a bath. So, I ran her a bath and she bubbled for about 30 minutes. As we were leaving the bathroom to go to the bedroom she told me she felt like she was going to pass out. She laid down to gather herself. After a few minutes I helped her to the bedroom. She said she felt she could sleep now. I took Phoebe and slept on the couch so when she woke for her 4 or 5 a.m. feeding I could feed her a bottle without waking Jordan. This was all about 3:00 a.m.

About 5:00 Phoebe woke for her feeding. I was feeding her on the couch when Jordan's cell phone rang. I thought, "who would be calling her now?" Then her phone rang again. This time I reached down trying not to disturb my Phoebe and saw that the calls were from....well, our home phone. About that time I heard Jordan yelling for me from the bedroom. I immediately went into to see her. She told me she couldn't even get out of bed to use the bathroom without feeling she was going to pass out. She then commented that, "it feels like it did in 1999" (the last time she was bleeding internally from tumors that had burst). Hearing that, I told her we were going to the ER.

I woke my parents and told them we were going to the ER and told them they were in charge of the kids. I explained when to feed Phoebe next and how to make a bottle. I know my parents had to be dazed and confused. I pulled together the essentials and helped Jordan to my car and we started to the ER about 6:45 a.m. On the way, Jordan's OBGYN called and told her it didn't sound like anything related to Phoebe's birth and we should go to the ER (we were half a mile away).

We pulled into BSA ER. I went in and told the desk staff my wife was in the car and needed a wheel chair. I wheeled one out and put her in and took her in and passed her off before going out to park my car. When I returned, Jordan was being triaged. She was telling the nurses of her history with cancer in the past and how this felt the same. We then went to a room and waited. We were scared. Jordan was still hurting. Dr. Smith in the ER started treating Jordan and ordered a CT without contrast. By 8:30 she had returned from the test and we waited. I had called Jordan's mom, Jordan's friend Tiffani to see if she could keep our kids as my inlaws were scheduled to leave at Noon and we didn't know how long we would be at the hospital. Then about 8:45 Dr. Smith told us the news we had been hoping and praying since 1999 we would never hear again....that the scan showed some "abnormalities". He was great, but we tried to fight back our tears as he explained there seemed to be some blood in her abdomen and something in her lung and that the radiologist needed a CT with contrast now. So, Jordan and I sat there scared and sobbing but trying to hold it all together. Jordan told me to call the church and see if some elders would come up and pray with me as I was crying more than her. I told her I couldn't do that right now as I was too scared. About this time Adam our youth minister called and asked if he could come sit me me. This was a God send as I love him and I needed someone. The next hour was spent trying to get an IV started in Jordan and with me walking in the room trying to coach Jordan to drink the contrast and be strong and walking out with me crying and making calls to my parents and Jordan's.

By 10:15 Jordan had finished drinking the contrast and was off for another scan. More church folks were arriving and comforting me. Jordan returned and was being strong. Then about 11:00 a.m. Dr. Smith came up to me and told me that the scan with contrast showed she had one tumor in her liver that was bleeding and possibly another there as well but it was hard to tell from all the blood. He also reported there was one in her left lower lobe of her lung. I cried. I was being hugged and comforted by Adam, Mike Kennedy, and Nancy Stepp. Almost immediately Dr. Tom Johnson (the GI doctor) appeared and started consulting with Jordan asking about her medical history. He left and a general surgeon by the name of Langley appeared and told Jordan he would be doing surgery on her soon to remove a tumor in her liver that was bleeding. I don't think he knew that nobody had yet to tell her she had a tumor there. Jordan was so strong. I cannot believe she held it together so well. Before I knew it, Dr. Langley was gone and Dr. Johnson was back and he was asking who performed the surgery on Jordan in 1999 to remove her stomach. Jordan told him Dr. Shires in Dallas had. Upon hearing this, Dr. Johnson then told her that she likely would be transported to Dallas later in the day by airplane to see him. Dr. Johnson left to see if he could get a hold of Dr. Shires and make sure he would accept transfer. I was consulting with Dr. Smith and he was showing me the CT films as I was confused why we were going to be flying to Dallas for treatment immediately. In 1999 Jordan recovered for a few days in Lubbock and drove to Dallas and had her surgery about two weeks after we learned she was sick again. This all seemed to be moving so fast. I didn't understand and wanted to know how big the tumors were and why surgery in Amarillo wouldn't suffice.

After looking at the films myself and seeing with my own eyes the tumors, I walked back to see Jordan. I was numb. The nurses were running in and out of her room ordering different things back and forth while they pulled blood. A doctor introduced himself to me (Dr. Richard Archer) and told me he was a radiologist and that he would be doing a procedure on Jordan to try to locate where she was bleeding in her liver. I was confused. Things were moving so fast. I remember him telling me that he did about 5 of these procedures a year and that they were bumping someone who was scheduled for the cath lab off the table so Jordan could get on it. Within 5 minutes they were rolling Jordan to the cath lab. I was following and upon entering they had me sign all the consent forms (as a lawyer I understand why these are necessary but noticed the procedure we were consenting to was not one that is on the list of procedures prepared by the state or TMA...meaning I knew this procedure was not a typical procedure) and they walked me to the waiting room. An elder named Frank Stepp was there and said a prayer as we walked into the waiting room. My support group of Adam, Mike, and Nancy found a corner of the room and started waiting. I was told the procedure could take 2 to 3 hours. As we waited many church friends started pouring into the room and I couldn't believe how so many had learned of our being there so fast. It was about Noon. I was conflicted and trying to make sense out of everything all while keeping my emotions in check and trying to remember who needed to be told what was happening who probably didn't already know.

About 1:00 Dr. Archer came out and told me the procedure went good and that he was able to find the arteries/veins that were bleeding and "embalize" (sp) them (i.e., stop the bleeding by pluggin the arteries). He said she would be back in the ER room soon. About 45 minutes later Jordan was being transported back to the ER room. When I returned Dr. Johnson informed me he had talked to Dr. Shires and he would accept transfer of care and that he wanted Jordan stable following the arterior cardiogram (sp) for two hours before flying by care flight to Dallas. He then told me we would be leaving for the airport in about an hour. Then a lady who helps arrange the hospital transfer told me our flight nurse would be a person who knew us and was in our Sunday school class. She said his name was something like Carl and we didn't know such a person but Jordan said do you mean Bill. She said, yes. Bill Rexrode is in our Sunday school class and within 45 minutes he was there with some others getting Jordan ready for transport.

In that 45 minutes differents folks who were waiting with me were going in to see Jordan and I was trying to figure out who was going to keep the kids, how was I going to get some more clothes to Dallas, etc. Some good friends volunteered to drive our car down that night and to pick up some essentials from the house. Another volunteered to take our sick Eli to the doctor for a impromtu appoitment. Others were just flocking to the ER waiting room and then I called to leave. We were in the ambulance heading to the airport. Within a half mile of being at the airplane, the ambulance driver says, "there it went.". "I just lost power steering. Oh, I also lost my breaks!" She managed to coast us to the plane. We got out and they started loading Jordan into the plane. The ambulance was leaking more fluids out of the engine than I knew it had. I thought ambulances were suppose to operate all the time. In any event, God helped this one hold together just long enough for us to make it to the airport.

Within 10 minutes we were in the air on the way to the airport. My mind was racing and Jordan was receiving her second unit of blood. I was glad Bill was sitting next to me as I could ask him questions that I wouldn't have asked a complete stranger. I was still asking over and over why are we flying by care flight to Dallas? What is so urgent? I later would learn (Thursday night) from doctor Shires that an embalization is done to "save" someone's life to buy the surgeon a few hours or days. Dr. Shires wouldn't say Jordan was close to death, but he called the procedure a "homerun" and told us it was great that there was a doctor in Amarillo who could perform it. Without it, Jordan couldn't have been transported here and our very capable and estemed physician with whom we have a history wouldn't be treating us now. So, as I sit here tonight, I understand why things were moving so fast from 11:00 a.m. until we made it to the ICU here at Dallas Presby and am grateful for all of the things falling in place on Wednesday.

We landed at Dallas Lovefield about 5:30 after a flight of about an hour and five minutes. Thirty minutes later we were in the ICU. Thirty minutes after that Dr. Shires and a resident were in our room telling us that there is a new drug that should treat Jordan's tumors and that if it doesn't treat them, the doctor will just cut them out and "reset her clock" for a few more years. All of this was said before the doctor looked at the CT scans that we had flown with us. Dr. Shires left to go look at our films. Jordan's mom arrived along with her cousin Dr. Amy Coffey. I asked Dr. Coffey to consult with Dr. Shires and look at the films. It is always nice having a family member who is a doctor. Thirty minutes after that Dr. Shires is back in the room telling us that there definitely are two tumors in the liver and one in the lung but he didn't see any others. He also told us that all three of the tumors are treatable and if the drugs didn't work for some reason, he could remove all three through surgery but he wanted to consult with the chief oncologist (Dr. Strauss) tomorrow about whether to perscribe Gleevek and let it work without surgery, or to do surgery now on the tumor that was bleeding (about 6 cm in length).

All of this news was comforting. It made me feel a lot better. Some friends and Jordan's sister had shown up and took me to dinner as I hadn't eaten much all day and we were being kicked out of ICU for a few hours. Dr. Johnson called while I was at dinner to check on Jordan which was so nice. I was exhausted. Jordan's dad arrived about 9:00 from Rhode Island where he had been on business. Many friends were with us that night until I finally left with my father-in-law for home about midnight for some well overdue sleep. What a 24 hours....a 24 hours that I will remember for the rest of my life!

The following morning many of our friends from Amarillo arrived to sit with us as they had driven through the night. One of my best friends from ACU and my best man in our wedding, Dr. Taylor Tidmore, walked in unexpectantly from Columbia, Missouri. Later my roommate from ACU for 3 years walked in. Everywhere I turned there were friends of mine, Jordan, her parents or all of us. This was so nice and I thank God that we are so loved and we have such good friends.

Later that day about 4:00 p.m. Dr. Shires after consulting with the chief of radiology here at Dallas Presby decided that it would be best to do surgery on Friday morning rather than wait because they predicted that the embalized liver would eventually repressurize and begin bleeding again. As it turned out, they were right. During the night Thursday night Jordan's hemoglobin (sp) droped from 30 to 25 (normal is 40 for a female her age and hers had been increased to a 30 by the 2 units of blood she received in Amarillo and in the air), so it was a great decision to schedule surgery to remove the tumor that was still bleeding.

Well, I know that was a lot of detail; however, I hope giving you such detail via the blog helps many of you understand where we have been and what has brought us to where we are now. Where I stop the story is about where the blog began. Of course, there are pages and pages more I could type of details but it is now getting close to 1:00 a.m. and I am tired.

As I typed this the nurses have been in and out about 10 times and Jordan has gotten on to Eli a few times in her sleep. Oh, and Jordan asked me if Phoebe was cold because apparently she dreamed I had her under a heater. So, she is definitely haluceninating (sp) which the nurses say is probably a by product of a small fever, the sleeping pill, and her pain medication. In any event, it may be a long night for me and Eli!!!

Again, thanks for posting comments, praying for us, visiting, and just loving us. We really do feel blessed to be loved by so many people and as I have said on this blog before, I don't know how someone who isn't a believer and isn't a part of a Christian community survives a stressful ordeal like we are living. Indeed, we are experiencing "abundant" life!

In Him,

Brad

Out of ICU

Brad here.

Jordan moved out of ICU and into a private room (room 601) about an hour ago. She also has fewer "connections" now. She received two more units of blood yesterday (one starting around 4 and another after 11 pm). The surgeon (Dr. G Tom Shires III) came by and saw her this morning and we were moving about 45 minutes later. So, apparently she is recovering well.

Jordan read the blog for the first time about 30 minutes ago. She is enjoying reading everyone's comments. So, if you want to say something to her, posting a comment would be a good way to do this. Possibly she will be typing her own entries soon!

She is still tired, but otherwise she is doing great! I am so pleased with her recovery this time around compared to 7 years ago. The surgeon told me the recovery would be easier since the surgery on Friday was shorter and less invassive as compared to 1999. Regardless, the surgery was not your average elective "day" surgery type either.

Please pray for her continued recovery from surgery. Also pray that the tissue results expected Tuesday or Wednesday will be good so that the other two tumors that remain can be treated by Gleevek. If not, then additional surgery will be necessary to remove the other two before we can leave. It is an unusual prayer to pray that the tumors this time are the same tumors she had when she was 11 and 21, but at this juncture that is what we are asking God for.

Thanks for your concern and for loving my family!!!

In Him,

Brad