Day 29 & 30

Day 29:

I am thankful for my children's teachers. All of them.  Every year, preschool and elementary, we have been blessed by women who care and give and work exceptionally hard to make sure my children are successful...whether it's at reading or math or sharing their toys. These women have gone above and beyond what's expected of them and I am so grateful that my children were surrounded by love even when they were not at home.


Day 30:

I am thankful for my Lord. All this month, I've been looking at my life and the ways I've been blessed. It seemed only fitting, on this last day, to give praise to the One who orchestrated it. And my life is blessed. Charmed, you might say. For those looking in from the outside, I may seem to have it all together. My faith and life might seem trite and gilded. But we are all broken and sick and shattered. At times (too many it seems) I'm holding onto my faith by a too-thin thread and my belief in an all-loving God is hazy at best. But deep down, way down deep under all the ugly, hidden, damaged, dark places in my soul is light I cannot ignore or deny. My God is a God of love and redemption and peace and hope and grace. I am so very, very grateful for that in ways I cannot even begin to articulate.



Happy 30 Day of Thankful. Thanks for sharing in this with me. 

Day 27 & 28

Day 27:

I am thankful for old friends. Those friends who knew who you were and remind when you've forgotten. Those friends that you haven't seen in so very long, and yet you start right back up where you left off. Those friends who hold a special, dear place in your heart and in your memory. The girl friends you can't wait to spend a weekend with. The only ones you'll stay up till 2:00am for just to keep talking. The young couple friends who can remember what it was like before kids with you. The ones who would skip Sunday School class to hang out. The friends who know the real you and change you for the better. 

Day 28:

I am thankful for my "new" friends. The friends who've only known me as a wife and a mom and a cancer-survivor. The friends who know my children well and love them. The friends who know how crazy controlling I am and just laugh it off. The friends I miss so much now that my life is so super busy we have to schedule Girls Night Out three months in advance. The friends that make my life in Amarillo a happy place. 

Day 25 & 26

Day 25 & 26

I am thankful for my Huddle and the couple that leads with us, Bryan and D'Lynn. I am thankful for the students who share their lives with us. It's a gift I'm not sure they realize yet, but we recognize what a treasure it is. And we do treasure it. The four of us store those precious moments of laughter and struggle in our hearts to carry around with us. These students bless us in a hundred ways and don't even know it. 

The St. John's are a special gift. They are friends, but so much more. They are my children's "in-town" grandparents. We look to them for truth and parenting advice. They ache when we ache and celebrate when we celebrate. Amarillo would be an ugly, bitter place for us if not for them.

Day 22, 23, & 24

Day 22:

I am thankful for extended family. For this big, connected group of people who all smooshed together and made me what I am. I am thankful that I was able to spend the holiday with all my grandparents. It doesn't happen very often anymore what with in-laws and on/off Thanksgivings, but this year it did. I am thankful for great big grown-up second  cousins who played football with my little boy all afternoon. (And I mean great big cousins. Both are well over 6 foot. Giants, in more ways than one, to my little man.) I am thankful for great-aunts and uncles who bring a richness to my life. I am thankful for grown-up cousins who went from being an annoying bully to a funny, favorite Facebook friend. I am thankful for aunts and cousins who are more like aunts to who are different versions of mom to me. I am thankful for all the other colorful characters, who through birth or through marriage, were knitted together in this crazy quilt called family. 

Day 23:

I am thankful for the health of my children. Phoebe had a nasty stomach bug on the Friday after Thanksgiving. As I sat with her and held her hair back as she threw up and put cold dish rags on her forehead, I couldn't help but think of parents who do this, and so much more, every single day. Having dealt with a lifetime of sickness, I am so thankful that my children don't have to. They are free from blood draws and fatigue and countless doctors and scans and x-rays and so much more. They bounce back quickly from tummy bugs and sore throats and I am grateful.



Day 24:

I am thankful for modern technology. Seriously. We drove back from Dallas on Sunday. It took us all day. We drove a different route to pick up a cartop carrier which added an extra hour or so, but it's a long drive anyway. I am thankful for DVD players and handheld game systems and cell phones and iPads. I'm pretty sure I would have killed my children otherwise. I am grateful that I don't have to make that drive like my parents did as children, with one child stretched across the back dashboard and no seat belts. 

Day 21: Thanksgiving

Despite all my big plans to stay on top of things, I got to my parents' house and didn't even get out my computer. It was a good week! :) Instead of doubling up, I'm giving what would have been Thanksgiving its very own post...especially since this is the reason for the whole shebang.

Day 21:

I am thankful for this life I get to lead. It's one of pain and sickness and heartache, sure, but it's also one of laughter and joy and love...even when I refuse to see it. I have been blessed with so much that a mere 30 days is not enough to cover it. And all of this from the one true God who is truth and life and love. 

I am blessed indeed.

Day 19 & 20

Day 19

I am thankful for my siblings. I'm thankful for the ones I've had since childhood. The ones who shared the weirdness of our immediate family (because all families are weird and only your siblings truly "get" the weirdness). The ones who can complete this sentence "a loaf of bread...a stick of butter...". The ones who got rained on every single time we went camping for five straight years. The ones who laughed with me during Sunday school class that one time while watching that horrible video about the woman who forgot the last 30 years of her life every single day she woke up and we were the only ones laughing. (It really was a sad story, but the Jolly siblings have the same sense of humor and we found some part of it hilariously funny.)

I'm thankful for the ones I gained through marriage. Either by my marriage to Brad or by their marriage to my blood siblings. Because for better or for worse, you really do marry the entire family. I am thankful that they brought their own wonderful weirdness to the crazy dynamics already in place.

Day 20

I am thankful for nieces and nephews. I'm thankful for the ones on Brad's side before we got married who made me want children of my own. I'm thankful for the ones born after I had my own children who reminded me why loving children other than your own is so rewarding. (You get to spoil them and love them without having the responsibility of child-rearing.) Being an aunt is a beautiful thing and I am thankful for the children who made me one. 

30 Days of Thankful: Day 17 & 18

I'm going to write Days 17 & 18 together and write them as one. I wanted to give them both a day, but it's impossible to write about my Dad without writing about my Mom and vice versa. But while they are so entwined in my life, they are still two whole, individual people. Days 17 &18 seemed fitting.

I am thankful for my mom and my dad. They are, to put it simply, great parents. They weren't (and aren't) perfect, but they have a sense of humor about life and about themselves that makes us (almost) forget that. My mom is kind and shy. She will do anything for those that she loves. Her life is marked by that service. She is creative and beautiful and generous. My dad is loving and protective. He feels deeply and laughs often. He is a teacher and a friend. Together they are godly parents and doting grandparents. They gave me wonderful childhood, not full of stuff, but full of love and memories and strength. They love my children fiercely and remind me (often) of the wonderful things about them when I forget. I am blessed by their legacy and their love. 

30 Days of Thankful: Day 15 & 16

Sooo, my mom texted me today and told me she knew I was busy because I hadn't posted since Wednesday. On the one hand, I hate being behind (again!), but on the other, I still have one reader left!

Bright side, folks. Bright side. 

I'll be spending the next few days catching up (if it kills me!), but I don't want too post too much on one day. Partly because I want each thing I'm thankful for to have its due, but also because that would take a super duper long time to write. I should be caught up by Thanksgiving. :)

Day 15 & 16

I am thankful for these children. And not just because they are my children or because I have children, but for these individual children.

I am thankful for Eli. Parenting him has been a hard road. Anyone who's read this blog for long knows this. My aim here is to be real and raw and most of my most real and most raw moments come when parenting this boy. On the whole, parenting him has not been "a joy" as I hear some parents describe the experience with their own children. Parenting him is hard. And not in a parenting-is-the-hardest-job-ever kind of way. It's been on of the major spiritual, physical, and emotional battlefields I've ever walked through. It's harder than surviving cancer and infertility and living so far from family. While in the midst of an especially hard "battle", I still find myself asking God why. Why does he have to have ADD and dyslexia? Why did God create him so stubborn? Why does he fight everything? But these are my weak and selfish moments. The moments I am least proud of. The moments where I wish parenting Eli weren't my ministry...because that is what it has become. Two different women in the last two weeks have come to me to talk about their fears that their son might be ADD and/or dyslexic and I realize that God is using my hard days to bless others. It's at these times I wish God wanted my ministry to be the one of the harried mom of four who oozes faith and patience and shows others how to live a life not sweating the small stuff. But I've got Eli and so many "hard days" they are more the norm than the easy ones. Yet even on those hard days, Eli is a wonder to behold and I love him with a fierceness and protectiveness that only comes from being in the trenches with someone on that battlefield. He can drive me crazy like no one else, but the wonderful things about him are beautiful. I love that he is always moving. He loves to ride his bike and play catch and wrestle. He is rough and tumble and it's as if he's at his best when he has time to move in a big way every day. I love his razor sharp focus when he is trying to accomplish something...it cannot be turned off. I love that he is kind to everyone. Oh sure, he can pester the hind legs off a donkey, but he is never intentionally mean-spirited. I love that he is loyal and loving. 

I am thankful for Phoebe. She helps me remember that it's the small, tender moments that turn a mommy's heart to mush. In so many ways, she is "easier" to parent than Eli. Having her made me realize that parenting can be a joy. She's no saint, by any means, but she is the softer side of parenting. I don't love her more than I love Eli, but it's a different kind of love. I love that she has a sparkle about her that radiates out to everyone around her. I love that she has a heart for helping others. We put up our Christmas this weekend and she was there beside me all day. She's my helper-girl. I love that music speaks to her and she expresses what she hears through dance...even if we're checking out at the grocery store. I love that she idolizes her brother. I love her spunk and her spirit and her sass. 

These are my babies. I am thankful for who they are...for better or for worse.

30 Days of Thankful: Day 14

Today is Brad's birthday and "thankful" doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about him. I was waiting until today to be officially grateful that he's in my life, but, truth be told, I am thankful for him every single day. Yep, even on the days he's annoying and makes me crazy!

He's a man of integrity who loves his family. He works hard and has tremendous patience with his children. He sees things in black in white, but doesn't take himself too seriously (or let me, either). Our family is blessed by him in a thousand ways.

Happy Birthday, Brad!

30 Days of Thankful: Day 12 & 13

I know. I'm behind. Again.

But this time I have an excuse. I ran fever Sunday afternoon and most of the day yesterday. Brad didn't believe me so he didn't offer much sympathy. In his defense (which he really doesn't deserve, but I feel like offering it anyway), I feel puny a bunch of the time and some days I'm sure that whole "in sickness and in health" gets a little old at times. This morning I decided to work on my disaster of a kitchen instead of sitting down to blog as soon as the kids left for school. You understand, right?

Day 12:

I'm thankful for my Grandfather. I took this photo this summer in Abilene while we were there celebrating his 90th birthday...on Eli's 9th birthday.

I wanted to post this on Veteran's Day because he was a pilot on a B-17 in WWII. And while I love that about him and the stories of that Clyde farmboy going off to fight in a country half a world away, I love him more because of who he's been in the 60+ years since. This is a holy man. A man who married two strong, Christian women and led a life of faith and service and hard work. He is kind and funny and dear. He never sits still. Young children find him fascinating because he is always on the go. There aren't enough words to express how my heart feels full when I think about him. I am grateful for who he was and is and his impact on the world. I love you, Grandfather.

Day 13:

I'm thankful for my three grandmothers. That's right. Three. First there's my Mom's mom, Bado. She's the one in purple in the photo below.

She was the grandmother who took us swimming at the Country Club twice a day when we visited in the summer. She's the grandmother I got my stubborn spirit from in times of hardship. She's the one who taught me how to manipulate people. And this is totally not a bad thing! Part of getting what you need done is getting others on board and making them think it was their idea.  It's genius and it's an art. She loves fiercely and loyally. 

I am thankful for my Dad's mom, Memaw. I didn't know her very well. She passed away when I was four. But I wish I did. I have a few photos, but our scanner isn't working on our printer so I'm not able to upload them. She was headstrong and reliant. She got on a bus at 17 to drive to California to marry my Grandfather while he was in Air Force. (And have times changed so much that I cannot even fathom letting my own daughter do such a thing? Or did her own mother just pray and hope for the best?) She raised my dad and his brothers and his sister to be men and women of God. She was a leader in the Church of Christ even though she wasn't recognized for it. From what I can gather, she had a presence about her that was undeniable and the wisdom of being Christ-centered for so long.

And I'm thankful for my Mimi, the woman my Grandfather married after my Memaw passed away. She had grandchildren of her own, but there was never a distinction between "her" grandchildren and "his" grandchildren. We were all just "theirs"...all 24 of us. Here's a photo of her and my Grandfather from this summer with several of their grandchildren and spouses.

When they got married, she only had boys in her life. She'd had three sons and, at that time, only boy grandchildren. I was the first girl and forever asking her why she didn't have any girl toys. So she went on a mission for girl toys. Making dress-up clothes from thrift store finds and stocking her kitchen with tea sets and baby dolls and the upstairs dressers with costume jewelry. She is a kind woman who loves babies and always makes sure there is always enough dessert. 

I am beyond blessed by these four amazing grandparents. 

Ten on Ten: November 2012 and Day 11

Here we go again, folks!  

TEN ON TEN: taking a photo an hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month, (hoping) to find the beauty in our everyday lives. 

Please check this month's other participants HERE...you'll be glad you did. :)

Day 11:

I am thankful today for my favorite tree. You see that tree up there? In photo #4? That's my favorite tree. I live on a flat, mostly treeless plain. It has its own desolate beauty, and you sure can't find a prettier sunset in all of Texas (maybe even the world), but there's just not a lot of trees. But there's this big, beautiful mammoth of a tree at the end of my very favorite road. (You can read about that HERE.) Most of the year, it's just a big tree. Nice enough, but not too special. But then, usually around mid-November, it turns into something amazing. I'm always watching it this time of year...waiting on its brilliant change. The color saturation seems to take forever. A few leaves here. A few more there. But then one day, I turn the corner, and *BAM* it takes my breath away. It's just that spectacular. I'm sure this tree serves a greater purpose. God designed the whole world to work on a level we cannot even begin to fathom, but on that very first day of my very favorite tree's brilliance, I know that God believes in beauty. He created it to bring us joy. My favorite tree is a breathtaking example of just that. 

Day 9 & 10

Day 9:

I'm thankful today for lazy Saturday mornings where our little family has no obligations until 5:00pm. They are so few and far between these days that I savor them when I find them. We celebrated with pumpkin pancakes and a rousing round of Wii Just Dance. 

Day 10:

It's going to be shallow, but I'm thankful today for my new-to-me car! After two years of looking (Brad doesn't commit to anything easily), he finally bit the bullet. It has everything I want and doesn't have the things I don't...like a sunroof. Brad thinks I'm crazy, but I don't like them at all! I'm also thankful that Brad is spending his lazy Saturday morning getting it all "programmed" because he knows I'm too lazy to do stuff like that myself. :)

30 Days of Thankful: Day 8 And The Pumpkin Patch Post

I know I'm running a day behind, but I started this post on Wednesday and never finished it. I'll catch up tomorrow. These pumpkin patch photos desperately need to be posted.  :)

Day 8:

I am thankful to be a mom. I'm not saying I'm thankful for my children (that's another, longer post), but I'm thankful for the opportunity to grow and change and hurt as a mother. Whether you gave birth to them yourself or attained motherhood through adoption, whether you have 1 child or 17, it changes you. There's a certain grief that comes with being a mom. On some level, you always imagined your children or how you'd parent, that looks vastly different that the reality. Usually the reality is so much more and bigger and amazing than anything imagined, but a grieving for what's lost still takes place...even grieving for an ideal. But there's a sweetness, too. A love so complete and protective and awestruck takes over. I'm not even sure I would recognize the girl I was at 25 before Eli was born. In some ways she was better and in some ways worse the woman I am now at 34. But I am grateful to have been given this chance to change. I'm part of a world-wide club where everyone is so different, separated by class and customs and norms, but in our hearts we are the same. We are mothers.

Well, it has now been 17 days since we went to THE PUMPKIN PATCH. I'm not sure I've ever been this behind on posting about it. Sheesh. 

We had a great time, like we always do. The weather was a little cool, but nothing we couldn't handle with multiple layers. (MARMOTS are my new best friend.) Those layers even allowed us to shed our jackets so we could get some great photos! :)

Cousin Morgan & Phoebe

Cousin Caleb & Eli