Phoebe is a Genius!

Phoebe has learned to read! Well, not really, but she does love to climb into her little rocking chair (by herself, mind you) and look at books. I can't imagine where that came from!

Okay, so she's not really even looking at the book in this picture...she's kind of a ham that way.



This book is very exciting!



Seriously, I think we have about 9,463 pictures in this chair. That does not include all the pictures of Eli I took in that same chair because I'm pretty sure those were lost in The Great Computer Crash of '07.

A New Blog

I've just spent over an hour "screwing around on the Internet" (as Brad likes to call it). Through a series of blogs, I came across one that is powerful and convicting. When you have some time (believe me, you cannot read one of this woman's blogs without scrolling to the beginning and reading them all), soak up this blog: www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com I typed out the address because I am unable to get my computer to keep these links up for long. Probably has more to do with operator error than anything else.

I am always humbled by people who are not scared of their pain and use to glorify God. These might be two of the hardest things for me. I run away and hide from pain or hurt and then when they do find me (and they do), I cry and shake my fist at God. This woman is amazing in her faith, in her hope, in her ability to use her pain to grow closer to the one who walks through it with her.

So get yourself some hankies handy and get to reading. Your children/housework/email can wait...I know mine did.

Pre-K Graduation

We had KU's pre-k graduation on Thursday night. While this is my fourth year, it's the first one where my own child was part of the ceremony. I always thought all the time and work we put into it was a little ridiculous because it was just pre-k. It makes a little more sense now. And yes, he will be graduating again next year, but I wanted him to be with his class.

A few pre-ceremony pictures.


This is the only "family" picture I took and it's not that great. But you can sort of see my new red shoes that are waaaay cute.


I also forgot to get a really good picture of Eli in his graduation cap and gown. It was probably a good thing, though, because he just looked so grown up and big. These are the pictures of the ceremony.





We let Eli choose where we were going to go to dinner. He chose Kabuki (yum) and it's one of those restaurants where they cook the dinner at your table. Lots of fire, lots of drama...what's not to love?



This is Phoebe's new "cheesy" smile. We think it's pretty funny. Especially when paired with her "fake" laugh!



If you have children and would like a "good" cry, pick up the book "Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury. It's one of those children's books for grown-ups. My friend, Keri, read it at graduation and it made her cry...and it's her book! It's all about how we always remember the "firsts", first step, first word, etc, but we rarely remember the "lasts." The last time they want you to read their favorite bedtime story, the last time they sleep with the cherished teddy bear, etc. I think all moms should read it and have a big mob sob. That's what my dad called it when they had all the moms come and stand behind their graduates while they read the book. Next year, we are going to tell the moms to bring hankies!

Stairs

Halfway down the stairs

Halfway down the stairs

Is a stair where I sit:

There isn't any other stair quite like it.

I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top:

So this is the stair where I always stop.

Halfway up the stairs

Isn't up, and isn't down.

It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town:

And all sorts of funny thoughts

Run round my head:

"It isn't really anywhere! It's somewhere else instead!"
(A A Milne)

Three Blogs

Here are the three blogs I read tonight that made me think:
Mike Cope: posted May 19th
Arlene Kasselman: posted May 21st
Judy Thomas: posted May 16th

I am too tired to articulate any of my own thoughts about these wonderful blogs, but my house is clean. Yeah for me.

My Big, Fat, Giant Mistake

As I type this, I am sitting in absolute despair because I have made the biggest mistake of the month. To say that it is the biggest mistake of my life would be melodramatic...and we all know I am so not melodramatic. :) Today, the ladies who clean my house were coming. They do a spectacular job (a much better job than I will ever be able to do on my own...even if my energy wasn't sucked away by the Gleevec)and it leads to the very best three hours of my week. The three hours after we get home and the children are napping and I sit in the total cleanness of my house. When the three hours is up, somebody wakes up, the toys get pulled out, the milk gets spilled, somebody needs a snack...you get the idea. But for those few hours my house is COMPLETELY clean...I think this might be what heaven is like. Back to my big mistake. I usually try to run errands or go to the park or something while they are here because I always feel like we're in the way. Today was no different. I had exactly 257,374 errands to run before my parents come to visit this weekend so I left the house at 9:30am to get them all done. I even managed to squeeze in a short trip to the park where I discovered that the hypoallergenic, children's, SPF 50 sunblock that I carry in my purse gives Phoebe hives on her face and makes her eyes water uncontrollably. After that adventure, I cleaned her face and we headed to Mickey D's for lunch and recuperation before I ran the other half of my errands. This is when I realized my cell phone is dead. Oh well, surely there wouldn't be a call so important I need to really worry about it, right? Now, I'm not sure about the rest of you, but running errands exhausts me! I try not to do them all on the weekend because that's family time and I feel certain that Brad does not want to spend his entire weekend running errands with me or at home with the kids without me even though it would be soooo much easier. I also know that every two weeks, there will be about three hours where I need to be out of my house so it makes sense. It's all the ins and outs and pushing the carts and carrying my way too heavy little girl who doesn't want to sit in yet another cart and constantly telling Eli to stay close and no he could not buy the car/pen/mini-etch-a-sketch at the counter. Anyway, I got home exhausted. The kids were tired, I had 94 bags of groceries to bring in, and Phoebe had leaked through her diaper. When I walked in the door and heard a series of rapid beats, I almost burst into tears. Those beeps meant that I had accidentally set the alarm on the house before I left. Those beeps meant that my precious cleaning ladies had tried to come in and set off the alarm. Those beeps meant that they had left because they do not know the code to turn the alarm off. Those beeps meant my house had not been cleaned!! I immediately called my cleaning ladies who verified the story and I tried to reschedule for later in the week. Sometime before Thursday when my parents arrive, but no dice. They are leaving town on Thursday, as well. I'm in a pickle, to be sure. Not only am I mourning the loss of my perfect three hours, I have to clean my house myself. It's already making me tired and my back hurt. I guess that's why I have a prescription for pain killers. Luckily, the only thing I have to do on Wednesday was go to the grocery store to buy the food for this weekend. Instead, I'll be cleaning my house and maybe I can sneak in a quick trip to United. This is all after I stop feeling sorry for myself and realize that I am just a big, whiny baby who needs to put on her big-girl panties and deal with it!

Happy Sunday

My camera is on the blink; otherwise you would see some precious pictures of Eli and Phoebe dancing together while watching "Enchanted." You'd also see some pictures of Brad watching "Enchanted." I don't think he was impressed. You might even see a picture of my new pedicure I got yesterday. I have bright pink toenails with white polka-dots...very cute, indeed. I believe that summer has officially begun when I get my first pedicure! I'm praying the weather thinks so, too. Those pictures would just about sum up the whole of our accomplishments of the weekend.

Instead, here are some pictures of Phoebe and her baby. They were taken a few weeks ago and I'd just like to say that baby dolls are such a nice change from balls, cars, guns, and trains.





She's a very good little mommy...except for when she carries her baby around in her teeth. In her defense, it is only when there is food in both of her hands that she does this. A girl has got to have priorities!

My Hard Heart

I really, really, really do mean to post something about the wonderfulness of “Conspire” (the children’s ministry conference I attended in Chicago), but every time I sit down to write out what I have swimming around in my head, something comes up. Like a two hour phone conversation with a friend (thank you, sweet friend!) where we just poured out everything that was going on with us. Dontcha just love those friendships? Anyway, it put a damper on my post and I want it to so perfect when I finally post it…it’s that whole frustrated perfectionist thing. But I will finish it and you will be inspired…someday.

In the meantime, there are other thoughts swimming around in my head that seem more pressing right now. I am reading this book by Henri J. M. Nouwen called “Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.” I picked it up in Chicago because I had heard from my dad that he was a good read and I was looking for something. I can already tell that I’m going to have to read it over because it is packed with “stuff.” Deep “stuff’ that I am not fully grasping on this first read. Luckily, it’s not a very long book. The whole idea of the book is that we, as Christians, are not living out our lives as the beloved of Christ and how that affects all that we are. When I first started reading it, I was thinking, “Great. What have I picked up? Not another book on how God wants to give us everything we want…blah, blah, blah.” But it’s another book entirely. I won’t go into all of it, but in one chapter, he talks about how we are all broken. That being broken is innate to being human and no one can escape this brokenness as no one can escape death. Then he goes on to write that we have to press into our brokenness to emerge on the other side. That we have to view our brokenness through the lens of blessedness and that it is this brokenness that allows us to be open to full acceptance of Christ. What?! I have felt pain. I have seen pain in those that I love and there is absolutely no way that I want to get closer to that. No way that I want to delve into that and “process” all that brokenness. The verse that calls us to “be joyful in affliction” is one of the hardest verses for me to accept. Seriously, why can’t we just be miserable in our affliction? It’s so much easier. But, as with all good truths, this thought about brokenness has lead me to reexamine my biggest “brokenness” these days. (Oh yes, I have more than one “brokenness.”) I believe that all sin stems from our lack of trust in God. We don’t trust him to take care of us the way we think He should. We think we can do a better job. We “know” this is not true, but there is a great distance between what I know and what I believe way down deep. This all leads to my big THING right now. I have a friend who believes with all her heart and knows with all her head that where she wants to be is where God wants her. She is truly convicted of this. That sounds like a no-brainer, right? Well, it’s not for me. I am so stubborn and scared and selfish that all I can see is that where God wants me is NEVER where I would choose to be. Take Amarillo, for example. I “know” there is a reason we are here in this city and he has put us here for “such a time as this.” But, really, Amarillo? On a good day, I can laugh at the fact that I was sitting at stoplight the other day at a major intersection, and there were about 20 kids on horseback waiting opposite me for the light to change. On a bad day, I mourn the fact that I am so far from my parents, that my children are not blessed by them daily, that I miss out on all the little family things…Mother’s Day get-togethers, family birthdays, etc. On a bad day, all I feel is the constant wind and all I know is I don’t fit in here. And yet, I know that it is God’s Will that I am here in this place. I have prayed so often lately for God’s Will to be done in my life and I’ve actually meant it, but when something happens that is contrary to what I wanted to happen, then I realize that maybe I didn’t mean it. It’s very confusing because when I prayed it, I meant it. I followed through on what I thought He wanted me to do. I was excited about where it would take me and my family, but now that doors are closing and others are opening, I am less excited about where that door leads. I’m hurt by the closing door, and to be honest, I’m not sure I even want to have anything to do with the new door at all. Even more distressing is the fact that this says nothing about who God is, but who I am instead. I am not strong, or selfless, or joyful, or patient. I am weak and selfish and bitter and scared. The more I discover the character of Christ, the more I discover how exceptionally short I fall. Will there actually ever come a time when what I want resembles what God wants for me? My wise friend, the one who actually wants what God has in store for her, reminds to keep pressing into Christ and to spend more time in the Word and in silence. She’s right and I know it, but what I really want to do is climb into bed and wake up again in two months when maybe all of this will be resolved. It seems especially appealing on a day that is 50 degrees in May. Again…Amarillo?!

Yet Another Reason I Will Not Be "Mother Of The Year"

Today at KU, Eli pulled his sandwich out of his lunchbox and said, "Oh cool! Blue bread!"

Thank you, Ms. Teresa, for pulling the mold off of my son's sandwich and then letting him eat the rest. The boy has got to eat! I guess it's time to throw out that loaf of bread.

Earning My Mother's Day

Why is that children only start throwing up in the middle of the night?

Warning: Graphic throw-up stories ahead.

Phoebe started throwing up Friday night around 11:30pm. It was disgusting. I had taken two pain killers because my back was hurting and I didn't want to lie awake waiting and wondering if one was going to work so I just took two. Not an hour later, Phoebe started crying. I mean really crying. When we went to check on her, she had thrown up everywhere. I mean change-the-sheets-wash-the-bumper-give-the-gal-a-bath everywhere. It was disgusting. I'm not so great with throw-up and being dizzy from the pain killers didn't make it any better. I'll have to admit, it made me gag...while Brad was dealing with Phoebe and her sheets. What a great guy! It just happened the once and then I was back in the action. She continued to throw up until 3am. Around 1am it there was nothing left to throw up so she just dry heaved. I know it's miserable for her, but it certainly makes clean-up easier! She woke up Saturday morning feeling chipper. Her appetite was a little off, but you would never have known the girl was sick. Thank Heavens, she's better now.

We had a nice Sunday. A little breakfast (which I cooked), church, lunch at Calico County (seriously, they have THE BEST pot roast on the planet), a little nap, a yummy roast chicken for dinner (which I also cooked, but I really enjoy it)...oh, and a great necklace from my hubby and children. Did I take any pictures of my precious babies or me wearing my new necklace? Nope. You'll just have to use your imagination.

Then there was Sunday night. Eli came in around midnight covered in throw-up. I mean in his hair, down his shirt, absolutely everywhere. I think he might have been asleep when he threw up. I've always found this phenomenon fascinating. My brother used to throw-up in his sleep and not wake up. I have no idea how he did this, but my mom says he did and it was gross. Again, we had to strip the sheets, give Eli a bath, throw Ruffie and Blanket in the wash, and put Eli on a pallet in our bedroom. We wouldn't want him to be too far from the bathroom...you know how that works out for us. :) He only threw up three time, thank goodness, and made it to the toilet both times. He's felt fine today and I've spent most of day trying to get him to take it easy. It's harder than you might think.

Then there was Brad. He started throwing up around 2am and has yet to quit. At the moment, he is lying on the bedroom floor (he says it feels better than the bed) in complete misery. We are waiting on a prescription to help out with the nausea, but at the moment things are pretty bleak. I think he thinks he's dying. I'm really hoping it's a 24 hour bug.

I have definitely been earning my Mother's Day today.

We Have Walls!

We went out to see the progress on our house yesterday evening. Most of the first floor is framed and Eli's room and the bathroom are framed on the second floor. So far, this whole house business hasn't seemed very real to me...now, it really seems real! We were able to walk around all the rooms (and through some walls, which Eli found very cool) and it finally felt like this thing was actually going to happen. I had been out there last week to see the guest room framed, but it's completely different when it's most of the house! I was blown away by my excitement...and the wind. Seriously, the wind is ALWAYS blowing out there...I'm a little surprised the houses on that prairie haven't just blown away.

This is Phoebe posing in the wall between the guest bath and the guest closet. She was having a ball walking around out there, but the wind literally almost blew that poor girl away. Twenty and a half pounds is nothing to a West Texas wind!





I'm not particularly sure why Eli has his bike helmet on...maybe he was afraid of falling debris. He is also standing between the wall of the guest closet and bedroom.


Eli took this picture of Brad and I in front of the "fireplace." He looked through the camera and said, "Say, New House!" It's a pretty bad picture of the two of us, but did prove that I was really there. I have no idea what those yellow things are in my hand. Eli made a "collection" of them for the framing crew. I'm sure they were appreciated.


Eli's room.


This is Brad climbing up to the second story. They have not framed the stairs, yet, and they took their ladders with them so the only way to get up there was to climb. I was certain that these might be the last pictures of Brad, but he made it and in the next picture he is standing in the upstairs bathroom.




Hopefully, they will frame the stairs today and then I can go into the second story as well this weekend!

My Kind of Day

It's been rainy and overcast all day long. We woke up to big thunderstorms this morning (which made my early morning run to Wal-Mart really fun) so it was pretty muddy outside. Eli was getting a bit antsy being inside all day, so I constructed a little fort in the living room. It was one of my better-mom-moments. He loves it! And what did Eli spend his time doing in his little fort? He was READING! Well, he was at least looking at books which is pretty close to reading. There's a boy after my own heart. There is no better way to spend a rainy day than hunkered down with a book...or a snowy day...or a sunny day...



Notice his ingenious use of the headlamp. It was a little dark in the fort. His great-grandfather would be proud! (He was an optometrist for years and was forever telling us to turn on a light when we read!)



Phoebe is not in any of these pictures because she did not like to sit in the fort. She preferred to pull all the sheets down so we went to another room and unloaded all the clean laundry out of laundry baskets so Eli could read in peace.

I'm Back...Again

I've been lax on my blogging again...but it's Brad's fault! I had planned on blogging while we were in Phoenix at a conference for Brad, but his laptop would not connect to the Internet so I just had to find other ways to spend my time. It was hard, but I managed to fill up all those hours over our long weekend with some shopping, some napping, some sitting by the pool, some eating really good food, and some enjoying the freakishly wonderful weather they have there in Phoenix. I am one of those rare people who find 91 degrees absolutely perfect! We're back now and I am spending my time finding ways to avoid unpacking. So far, I'm doing pretty well. I think part of the reason I'm being lazy (and let's be honest...that's all it is) is because I felt like I just got back from Chicago! I'm still working on a post from that trip, hopefully by the end of the week.

By the way, I think I should admit that I am a frustrated perfectionist. I am so caught up in the "right way" to do something that I tend to put it off because I know what a HUGE job it's going to be to get the way I know it can be. It applies to all areas of my life (blogging included). My bags are not unpacked because I know that I want to put everything exactly where it goes and get the laundry started so I just go to lunch with a friend instead because it's so much easier. I want to do such a great job on my blog post about my conference that I play Candy Land with Eli instead of just sitting down and writing it. I have another post brewing on where I am in listening to God that I really want to post, but again, it's so much easier to sit by the pool in Phoenix than get to it. I really need to go to Wal-Mart, but the list is getting so long that I am dreading going. That's why we are going to have pancakes for dinner. Sorry, Brad. He the only person I know that doesn't like breakfast for dinner. I've decided that there might really be something wrong with him because he doesn't think breakfast for dinner is the ultimate in comfort food. However, there are drawers to be cleaned out (yes, it's plural), playrooms to organize, closets to go through, pictures to scrapbook, emails to write...the list is endless, but probably not going to get any shorter. Sigh. If only I were just a perfectionist. I might be considered a little crazy, but at least I wouldn't have anything hanging over my head.

Also, I'm still wanting to get my blog made over, but I don't know what to call it. I'm sooo not good at stuff like that. PLEASE give me some good ideas. I'm counting on you. The McCalls really need it.