I'm ashamed to admit that when the sonogram tech told us we were having a boy in January of 2003, I cried. Not tears of joy...tears of regret that we weren't having a girl. I didn't know what to do with a boy and, as it turns out, I still don't know what to do with this boy. But that's another post for another day.
Fast forward to October of 2006. Same sonogram tech, same sonogram room, but things were drastically different. We were older and jaded and maybe even a little bitter after the ordeal and difficulties of trying to conceive another child. But God is good (and completely unfathomable) and here we were again. I was scared. I was scared that something was going to be wrong with this baby. It had taken us so long to conceive and I didn't trust my God the way I once had. I fully expected there to be a problem. I was scared that we were having another boy. A part of me knew that this might be our last baby and I still longed for a daughter. I know that we would have loved another son...that Eli would have loved having a brother. But I wanted a girl. (I'm pretty sure Brad didn't care what we were having.) So when the tech told us it was a girl, my first response was, "Are you sure?!" She assured me she was and from that moment on my world has been colored in shades of pink.
I longed for a daughter not just because of the bows and dresses and shoes (although they have been a delightful diversion!), but also because daughters are the protectors of traditions. I longed for a daughter to play dollies and dress-up. I longed for a daughter to pass on my love of all things old and meaningful. I longed for a daughter to be the keeper of memories and stories and ratty old quilts. I longed for a daughter to teach about the ways in which our Father loves and cherishes us as women...that there's a special place in the Kingdom for strong, godly, precious girls.
And in this I have been blessed.
For awhile I was worried that Phoebe would be a tomboy because she loved nothing more than to play with Eli's cars and balls and trains. Lately, I've been abused of this notion. This baby is ALL GIRL! Just this morning I put on her pretty new pink sneakers. (Although I'm not really sure you can call canvas maryjanes "sneakers".) She was enchanted. She kept saying "pink shooz" over and over again. It's what made me start thinking about this phenomenon of having a girl in the first place...and what made me realize that she is getting so much bigger each and every day. She showed them off to everyone at Wal-Mart (where I went over my $100-a-week budget...again, but let's blame it on Phoebe's birthday party this upcoming Saturday) and took off all her clothes at naptime except her pretty pink shoes.
She is everything I could have hoped for or wanted and so much more!


